How to make it up

I got into an argument wid one of my best friends few days ago, i was heavily sedated at that time ,but she didnt realize that. Later, i apologized for my rudeness,but really...it wasnt all my fault, she was also being unreasonable. Now many days have passed but things havnt got back to normal although she denies that she is still mad at me.

Should i wait another couple of days and see where things might lead to? Or i should try to talk to her again?

I think it's better to wait a few days and I hope you both can patch things up.

Thanks lynn P another friend of mine has suggested me to do the same. She said that it takes time to minimize the space that comes between friends after such episodes.

I am sorry too. I find that sometimes when people have a conflict and some anger is shed, it can be very difficult.

I think in your situation, as I have experienced myself, friends and family often tread lightly around you as they don't really understand what you are dealing with. Your friend may be just giving you some space and may not even know what to say or if you are up to even talking.

Sometimes just sending an email to her, if you can, to say sorry, was having a bad day, your still my friend. Can be a signal to her that you are acknowledging that something happened and you regret it and you are up for her to come and talk.

Many times when we are struggling we feel guilty about it and even though we try to gently talk about it, we can be hard on others and even more so with ourselves.

No one wants to feel not themselves, or admit that they are having some difficulty. Lets face it, it is embarrassing and akward. And it is very easy to be misunderstood and even avoided by others. It doesn't mean that they don't like us or that we are bad, it is just an indication that they are confused and don't know what to do or what to say.

Open Eyes

Open eyes...i have already apologized to her multiple times and she said that its ok. But even then she doesnt even talk to me unless i initiate it in the first place. Now m confused that is she being just polite by an7wering me when i talk to her?

Should i let go? but we were quite close and i would never want to lose her. I even took sedatives when all this conflict took place. Its hard to explain why i did so. May be that was just a precipitating factor.

Ok, I understand, its hard for me when I don't know your age or your friends age because that is also something I have to consider.

If she is distancing even when you try to converse with her, give her some time off. She made need time to cool off and regroup. If she is a good friend, she won't disappear.

Don't be hard on yourself, you are doing the best you can.

Open Eyes

Another day passed and she is still avoiding me we dont hang out any more. We barely talk now. It all seems so awkward.

Sorry this is still going on ((jiakhan)) - it's helpful if you can look at this objectively and the role each of you plays in this friendship. I remember being your age and it felt like a big deal when I was having problems with a friend. In friendships there's usually one who has the upper hand and the other one is the follower or more passive one - when there's an argument the passive one is usually the one who has to beg and plead for forgiveness. This is when it starts to get unhealthy.

You apologized several times. If I were you I would email her a simple letter, that's basically says - I've apologized several times......I would still like to be friends and if you need space, I understand. I hope you feel better soon and I don't want to keep bohering you and instead will wait for when you're ready Good luck.

I like Lynn P.'s suggestion. I would definitely start there. If that doesn't do the trick and a lot of time passes it might be time to move on and make some new friends. I'm BP and lost a lot of friends in the process and some of these were friends I'd known for years. It was very hard for me to move on but too many things happened and I didn't feel safe or trusting anymore as they had also stayed friends with my ex-husband. I have a few close friends that are my friends and they don't associate with my ex and I'm making some new friends at a Bipolar support group. Whatever happens you will make it through it. I only hope for the best and that you can mend the friendship.

Good advice LynnP,

I would have to agree with Lynn's advice. We can never make someone like us, we have to consider that it is not always our fault. We can only do our best and I really think Lynn has a very good suggestion about that email.

Try not to think on a day to day counting method of her not responding.
Just know that you have done your best and maybe you need to get to know other people, not to replace her but to widen you scope about others.

If it is a situation of dominent and passive, it can hard because the passive has a tendency to use the dominent to gain permission to explore or meet others.

Sometimes friendships need breaks so that there can be growth. Often when they return to a friendship they have something more to bring to it, even a realization. Don't view it as a bad thing, something that means the end. Instead, reach out a little and explore on your own, it is ok to grow, you can do it.

Open Eyes

Lynn P...im gonna take ur suggestion. im going to write this to her and then whatever follows,i will accept it. I have done my best to mend the friendship and if it still doesnt work then so be it.

Thanks to open eyes also you have been helpful and supported me.

We are no more on talking terms. She didnt reply to my email and now im not going to make the move. Its a bit upsetting but if someone has to be so *****y what the hell can i do about it ,right? My mistake wasnt so big afterall and i have already apologized for it so many times. What else can i do. I cant believe she is doing this to me.

Still no contact from her side. What i really cant understand is that why is she doing this. She isnt telling anything, just keeping distance from me. What a junk head.

just to let ypu all know that im once again on talking terms with that girl. we are no more close friends but its still better than nothing.