[Jenn1fer82]

He was fired from his job bc he failed his drug test for meth. He said he's never done drugs and that it was a false positive bc with meth it uses over the counter medication to produce, I searched on it and it is true.. He said he was taking cold medication a few days before the test. Sense he's lost his job I have a gut feeling that things are not going right and he's not telling me the whole truth anymore. At the time I didn't know what or who to believe. I love the guy and I wouldnt ever want to imagine that he's not doing drugs. When he had to return me $520 he gave me $490 instead and was making sure that I would believe him that it was $490 but I refuse and knew it was $520. He tried to take my money but I wasn't going to let him get away with it. He had a $100 on Friday and by Sunday he was broke. He said he used all that money on me but never once did I see a gift. I told him I want stability instead I dont care for flowers and gifts. Just the other day I found two small drug bags the size of a half dollar and a quarter in his room. The two bads had tiny faces of the devil. The two tiny bads were in a shopping bag. I asked him why is it in his room. He said he doesn't know where it came from and that he brought it in from his car. He doesn't know how it got into his car. He said that I just have to believe him because he doesn't do drugs. As much as I want to take his words and believe him, how am I suppose to avoid and ignore these hard evidence. The bags that the holds the drugs, the failed drug test and then how he's been handling his money is so suspicious.

I dont know how to walk away from him when I know I need support right now. I'm in the middle of leaving from one abusive home from my parents place and now into renting a room from strangers. In my circumstances I think I'll have to leave it all behind and go forward on my own. This is so difficult.

[Leed]

Does he ever act differently? Do his eyes look dialated? Does he "sniff" all the time, like he's got a cold? Wasn't there any Powdery substance in those little bags? Of course he could have had pills in there too - who knows. If he had $100 and said he spent it on YOU and you don't have anything ~ that would make me wonder too.

All you can do is trust your gut instincts. If you feel he's using, then you have some decisions to make. I would NOT want to live with a drug user either. I lived with an alcoholic for many years, and would NEVER do it again. Make sure you have somewhere to go before you jump the gun. If your parents home is abusive, you don't want to go there.

I wish you the very best! You might be better off on your own for awhile, if you can swing it. Take care and God bless. Hugs, Lee

[salukigirl]

Has he lied about drugs before? I find that, more often than not, my gut instincts are correct. Being broke after having $100 is certainly suspicious, especially if he doesn't tell you (or isn't truthful) as to how it was spent.

You need to think about yourself here. If he doesn't want the help, he won't accept it no matter how hard you try. At a certain point, it gets ridiculous. If you feel like you have to snoop to find out the truth - I think that's your answer.

I'm glad you are getting out of an abusive relationship. I know it sucks taking that first leap to being independent but it's very rewarding when you aren't walking on eggshells or worrying if someone is lying to you. I hope everything works out for the best.

[AAAAA]

Is this the same guy? Seriously Jen, he is either the most unlucky guy on the planet or someone that has an excuse for everything and nothing is his fault. Which is more likely? I hope this will finally make you see him as he is.

[Jenn1fer82]

Originally Posted by AAAAA

Is this the same guy? Seriously Jen, he is either the most unlucky guy on the planet or someone that has an excuse for everything and nothing is his fault. Which is more likely? I hope this will finally make you see him as he is.

Yes this is the same guy that i've been with for two long years. I asked him to take a over the counter home drug test and at first he said he'll do it and then he backed out. He said those test are not reliable and that soon he's going to get drugged test from his job and he would rather wait until then to get tested. I want to listen my gut tells me to leave but my heart loves him, i really do

[salukigirl]

I love my dog. But if it bit me.......

[Jenn1fer82]

Originally Posted by salukigirl

I love my dog. But if it bit me.......

You're right in every way and Im not proud of myself for thinking and feeling this way. I need to find a safer and better outlet so I can start my life all over again. It is so scary to readjust to a different life. Im cutting ties from my family and I'm about to do the same with my bf. I'm moving into a new place where I'm renting the room for a 1yr lease. Its just so hard when I'm leaving everything behind, something that has been a big part of my life. It is hard to walk away even though it is a cycle of desperation, physical and emotional abuse (my family), and finally having to face my own fears of being alone. He showed me alot when he refused to take the over the counter drug test and he back out and refused to take them.

[AAAAA]

I know we've talked about this a lot in the past so I won't drone on. You keep saying you love him, but I think you love who you want him to be; not the same person hon. He's a master manipulator.

[madisgram]

jen, being an alcoholic in recovery i feel i can safely say he's using. for example-the meth test. he would've had to take enormous numbers of OTC to even be part of the possible equation. i don't even know if the OTC would've caused it to show up as meth. anyway either. reason-meth is made with some of the OTC stuff in it. it's not just the chemical in OTC. and the meth test would've shown high quantities vs. normal. that's why the test is designed to filter out users of meth not legal drugs.
secondly you've already found some meth in his room. a drug addict or alcoholic will PROTECT useage at ALL costs. whoever brings in something from their car and it isn't that person's? if a drug addict had been in his car u can know they would've taken their drugs with them!! not leave it in another person's car.
i'm so sorry you have to deal with this experience with someone u care about. his life will go downhill from here. the job thing is an example. if he keeps using his life will continue to spiral out of control. anything you question or say will NOT make him stop. only HE can make himself stop.
if it were me i'd walk away. his using will become your problems too. his keeping drugs in your house makes you an accessory if police get involved.
i'd suggest your posting this thread in the "addictions forum", too. ex-drug addicts will respond. note these are my opinions but i don't think i'm wrong. i'm glad u posted. i know you are hurting. we're here for u, jen. please keep us posted.

[Perna]

Originally Posted by madisgram

he would've had to take enormous numbers of OTC to even be part of the possible equation.

Exactly what I was going to say; when they have trouble with the drug tests and too many false positives for a substance mimicking another, they fix them.

You have to believe yourself and your senses first and foremost or you do yourself damage, but for what? If it's his car and he's bringing in a bag from his car, he has to know where the stuff came from! The stuff came from either him or someone he knows/let into his car and he knows uses. It's not like a stranger, a drug addict or seller, broke into his car and left it for him, as a gift! It's not like someone else left it in his car, "forgot" to take it? It's not like the police raided and someone else put it in his things to make it look like his and the police "missed" finding it!

I don't like him because he's obviously not taking responsibility for himself and his actions! Never mind that he's lying.

[LNS9165]

Jenn1fer, trust your gut. Its difficult but if sonething seems wrong it probably is. The lying.secrecy and excuses are unacceptable. It sucks I recently went threw it with an girlfriend.