I need a true friend

All I have been really wanting is that one true, seemingly perfect friend. I have only one friend that comes close but she's an online friend who lives no-where near me! I just... I really want it, so bad it hurts. I want that special someone who I can really just... cry on their shoulder and let all my pain and worries out. I want them to hug me back and just completely understand and comfort me. And tell me that it's going to be okay. I long for this touch and embrace and soothing words so much... I'm so lonely. I spend my time day-dreaming about that friend and how they would be...

But I just don't know what to think anymore... I have lost so many best friends and friends I thought would be with me until the end. I don't know who to trust or where to go. I'm afraid that once I meet someone that matches that perfect image, they'll just end up leaving me. I don't know who to trust, but I know I just need SOMEONE to listen and comfort me. Someone I can show the real inner chambers of my heart... I don't know if that person exists, and even if they do... I'm afraid I'll be too blinded by paranoia and lack of trust that I'll miss them right as they go by.

Can anybody relate?

I completely understand what you are going through. All through middle school I felt so alone without one true friend. During high school I gave people the title who definitely didn't deserve it because they just treated me like a sidekick. People always ask what I mean by that and it means exactly what it says... I seem to attract drama queens who think life is a movie starring them with a funny sidekick (me)

People say I am just too picky about friends, but I just don't think I should have to lower my standards for people. Why can't people just not suck so much? I had a new best friend recently, but she treated some of my other friends like crap, she always has to get what she wants, and expected me to keep up with all of her work and junk when she decided not to show up for class.

I definitely have a hard time trusting people though. And I'm not really one to open up to anyone anyway... so it could very well be my fault... And I too spend time day dreaming about how things could be... sigh... especially when there's nothing good on T.V. and I'm forced to watch something like The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants and they are all close and it kinda makes my eyes get all watery from jealousy...

Long story short... I understand completely. This issue has caused a large chunk of depression in my life.

I can relate with you, In high school I had this great friend, whom I can say was attracted to me, we would laugh together, be together and talk, she was great, I wish I could find that friend again someday, I think whom ever that person maybe I could truly live happier. If I could just see her one time, that would make the breath of the air so refreshing.

Bless your heart. I wish I could be that friend for you. I could use a friend too. I know what you are talking about. It's hard to trust when you've been hurt so many times. It's hard to trust when you've been USED so often.

In this day and age, people are on the move so fast. It seems that no one slows down long enough to even THINK of friendship -- not the kind that you and I are talking about. And it's a shame because people really NEED a close, intimate pal to rely on and to tell their troubles to.

I hope and pray that you find that special friend. You sound like such a sweet, kind, caring person -- the perfect 'best friend.' God bless you and please take care of YOU. ((((hugs)))) Lee

Having and keeping friends is tough.
I went through a lot of school with no friends and when I look at other people who have been friends with people since childhood it boggles my mind.

I don't know how old you are, but do you participate in anything where you might meet people?

the sisterhood of the Traveling pants is a MOVIE - not reality.

I do have a few awesome friends...and almost all of them i met at work.
but nobody is perfect - I'm not perfect so I can't expect my friends to be perfect.
We fill the holes in each other's lives. take up each other's slack.
Call each other on the other one's bs.
And are there for each other. And although all of my friends know each other through me, none of them are really friends with each other...it just doesn't always work out that way. they all get along, but not all bff like in a movie.

you have to find people that you have things in common with - that's why activities, whether it's the gym, sports, a support group...something where you can meet people like yourself...i've found that's the best way to meet people that you will get along with.

Good luck!

I really loved the way you expressed yourself and I wish i could be that friend for you too. I also have trust issues but I feel I have the qualities of a great friend. It seems now a days it's hard to someone who's willing to listen and it's hard to trust sharing everything. If you do need to talk I'm willing to listen. I feel the same as you, since I have friend like acqaintences but not that 'share it all type friend'. I sometimes wonder how many really want to get that close as opposed to the superficial connections. I hope you find that unconditional friend.

I completely understand. I had friends, who always seemed to hate me after a while. I would think it's me but perhaps it was just the people I picked to be my best friends. My current best friend lives across the globe. He'll be moving here hopefully by next year but who knows what might happen between now and then? Until then, regardless, I'm still very quite alone.

I hope you can find a best friend soon though!! I hope we all can!

Thank you everybody for sharing your own experiences and feelings. I'm surprised by how many people can relate with me, and just that makes me feel a little less lonely. I'm 14 and I know in middle school age friends can be really fickle... and I hate it but I know it is the truth. All I can do is hope that the day will come where I'll find somebody true.

Awwww siljie - middle school....

You will! I had no friends in middle school, but as soon as I got into high school and was surrounded by a whole bunch of new people having friends wasn't as difficult. Of course haven't meant the best friend yet but it takes time. Just keep your chin up and in the meantime know all of us here are willing to listen and help you through anything.

Yes I agree with the last too posters and I didn't realize your age. You're right, friendships at your age most of the time are very fickle. I know because my oldest daughter is 13 and I hear what goes on at school. You can be friends, then all of a sudden a disagreement happens and it's blows up. Then if you have facebook or another chat site, sometimes all the friends will start dissing the other one.

At this age, kids start to assert themselves and there's so much attitude floating around. In order to be resilient, you need to find a balance between being assertive or letting it role off you - not taking it too seriously. In the end if you're nice and act like a good friend, kids will be attracted to that. Best of luck.

I completely understand and feel the same. I have trouble getting close to people. Good luck xxx

Thanks