[Katwoman1]

I have a fear of my boyfriend cheating, or at least I thought I did until today. It's not the cheating I am worried about, because I know he never would, it's the thought of him even thinking about another woman. My self-esteem is so low, that it bothers me to know that he could be attracted to someone else and that he is thinking about someone else when he is alone (if you know what I mean).
I have the unfortunate circumstance of working with my bf so I have to hear him on the phone when he talks to a particular client. There are actually multiple contacts there, but 2 of them in particular he is very friendly with. I really would like to ask him if he is attracted to either of them but I am scared I will sound crazy. When I hear him say things that I consider flirting, I have an anxiety attack and it's all I can think about, sometimes close to an hour, and I am completely unproductive at work until it goes away. I keep telling myself that it's not really flirting, it's only in my head, he is just being friendly. Then I hear him say that one of them sent him a birthday card and I get upset all over again. WHY is she sending him a birhtday card? I mean, who does that?! I could understand if she was his sales person, but she isn't, she is his customer! When he went to visit them I overheard him say to someone, "I really wish so-and-so was going to be there." Then I think, what does he care if that person is there? And why would the person he is telling even care? Why is he even mentioning it?! This happens at least once every other day sometimes more frequent, and it's starting to interfere with my work.

I am seeing a therapist and she mentioned GAD and conginitve distortions, but I took the GAD quiz and scored very low. My Psychologist put me on Geodon (btw this isn't what she was originally going to give me but that is what she had samples of) but it has only been a couple of days since I started taking it. She didn't mention what she thought I might have so I am left guessing. I told her I thought I might have ADD or Borderline Personality disorder and she asked if I get a thought stuck in my head and it just keeps going over and over, and I said yes. She then said ok, I am going to be put you on L______ Unfortunately I don't remember what it was, I just rember it started with an L.

Anyway, if anyone has any thoughts or suggestions I would appreciate it.

[PleaseHelp]

Welcome to PC.

Since this is bothering you so much, I would talk to your BF about it. Just let him know how you are feeling and why it bothers you (if you know why).

As for the med could it have been Lamictal? I would ask your therapist &/or Pyscologist what exactly they think you have or have diagnosed you with. You could always take the ADD &/or Borderline (BPD) quizes on here. When I took the ADD quizes it said I should get evaluated. I did and the psychologist thinks that even though I scored like I could have ADD/ADHD she thinks its more of my anxiety.

Again welcome. This is a very understanding and supportive community.