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#1
May 23, 2011, 07:39 PM
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I've been hanging out with this guy I work with since February. We are both in college and would see each other almost everyday during the week to study. We would also go on walks and go out to eat. I have to be honest that I'm not sure if we are dating or not. We have been intimate with each other and he knows I like him. He texts me often and we talk everyday. However, I've noticed that I get very nervous if I don't hear from him and don't know what to do with myself when I'm not with him.
First some background on me. I'm 28 and this is the closest I have ever had to being in a relationship. I'm usually a loner and could spend days by myself, not talking to anyone, and it never bothered me. I never had a problem keeping myself busy or just relaxing and watching TV. In fact I've never had the desire for a relationship that much. I always felt happy being alone and doing whatever I want. Now however, things have changed. Since I've been hanging out with Adam (not real name) I feel like I never want to be alone. I have been worried about the semester ending and him not wanting to see me. I've gotten so used to seeing him so often that I am scared that if he doesn't want to see me then that means he doesn't really care or he's sick of me. We went out yesterday with his brother and today I called him to treat him to the movies. He paid for my ticket yesterday and I wanted to take him to the movies as a sort of thank you. A movie came out that he wanted to see so I figured why not. However, he had plans with his friends for dinner so we decided to go tomorrow. This all seems reasonable right? So how come in my head I am going crazy? I can't think of anything else to do by myself. If we don't spend time alone together I get really depressed. Rationally, I tell myself that we don't have to spend everyday together. He has his own friends and I have mine. I don't want to sound clingy. I want to be confident that just because he hasn't seen me doesn't mean he will forget about me. Why do I all of a sudden have no confidence in myself? Why must I always have his attention? I used to be perfectly fine being alone and now I'm constantly panicking and don't feel I can handle life without him. That sounds crazy! I know rationally this makes no sense, but I don't know what to do.  Edit: Given the fact that he is the only guy I've ever slept with probably doesn't help either. |
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#2
May 23, 2011, 09:44 PM
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Being intimate with someone when your not sure about what commitments have been made can certainly twist everything around.
Something to think about...what does healthy boundaries look like to you? Have you ever thought about boudaries before?
__________________
Direction  Ripple Effect - Small things can make a difference |
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#3
May 23, 2011, 10:07 PM
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The best thing to do is ask him, what is deal with you two.
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#4
May 23, 2011, 10:32 PM
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Quote:
Quote:
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#5
May 23, 2011, 10:42 PM
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PC has a pretty good article http://psychcentral.com/lib/2011/10-...er-boundaries/
This may help explain what I'm talking about...
__________________
Direction Ripple Effect - Small things can make a difference |
 spaceid
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#6
May 23, 2011, 10:59 PM
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It is never to late to ask him. And if he say that you two are just friends, then ask him to be your boyfriend or something.
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| spaceid
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| Reply |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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