[Brometheus]

I feel like i was put on this world as a joke.. Last week my ex made plans to visit me (and other people)-- it was a complicated long distance relationship which is now ended due to her only spending 12hrs with me in one day and the rest of her time in this city with god know who.. havent seen her.. havent picked up her 2 calls.. thats it. its done. she even deleted me from her facebook today.

other than that.. i was trying to move on (so soon? not really.. but i have no friends and i need someone to talk to).. so i joined a dating site.. been on there for a few days. it seems like i even have no luck in the online dating world.. i must have sent about 40 winks to 40 different females and what do i get? 14 views to my page with no responses.. all this stuff is killing me inside.

it really doesnt help that i got a new job to get on the path to a better life for myself and the female who did me so dirty last week.. im so depressed about it, i feel like crying but no tears come. its so hard to concentrate on work.

i feel like im very ugly, dont know how to communicate with people, (or dating sites dont work, as far as that goes..). im not sure where this thread goes.. im so confused. i wish i knew how to talk to females in person so i can have a real relationship.. in person. never had one.

[LazyLogophile]

You will probably not like my advice, but I feel like you should stop worrying about being in a relationship. Trying too hard to find something will always blind you to the opportunity of actually getting it. Have you ever lost something, looked and looked for it, and only when you gave up and said "it will turn up" do you actually find it? I think love and friendship work the same way. By wanting it too badly, you become consumed with the want and are unable to see or think clearly, so the thing you covet becomes unattainable. Relax and let go. Happiness begets happiness, and so does sadness. Focus on loving yourself and loving the world, and love will find you.

You are not ugly. I don't have to see a picture to know that. There is no person on this earth who is ugly. Not one. Be patient with yourself. Let yourself grieve and forgive yourself for not being perfect. There are people in this world who can and WILL love you, but you will never be able to accept or appreciate that love if you do not love yourself first.

Dating sites are good places to meet people. Don't get hung up on lack of responses. Placing so much importance on who many people respond to you, or when they do, will only leave you disappointed. I met my signifcant other on a dating site, but it took time. I had my profile posted for months before I met people. Just be open to what the world has to offer you, and in the mean time focus on just doing you. Find a hobby, go dancing, do something nice for yourself when you have the time. It may seem silly or cliche, but it does work...but you can't control the way the world reacts to you. You can only control how you react to it. If you choose to love everyone, that love will be returned. However, you can't dictate how that love is returned, or when, or how it is shown to you. You can only accept it, appreciate it when it comes and keep swimming along at your own pace.

These are just things that I have had to learn the HARD way, and I still struggle with the very things you just posted about. Feeling ugly, unloved, unwanted...I relate. I really do. Letting go has been the only thing that has brought me peace of mind, but there is no solution. No one is happy all the time. No one has the answers, and nothing is a permanent fix.

There is no "way" to talk to women. If you have an agenda, people can sense it and will be turned off. I've found it's best to approach everyone on an individual basis. If they reject you, move on. It isn't always a comment on YOU. Maybe they had a bad day, or maybe they feel the same way about themselves that you do and they don't think that they deserve your friendship.

Be kind to yourself. You are worth it :-)

[Leed]

Hi ~ I think "Lazy" is pretty much right. You aren't ugly!!! You are a decent, loveable, kind, caring human being!!! You are deserving of being loved - of being cared for. Just because this ONE PERSON "did you dirt" does not mean that the next person or the next, or the next will do you the same thing.

And the dating site might not be the right place for you. Try a DIFFERENT one. Not all dating sites are the same -- some just don't "click" -- so try other ones. There are plenty of them out there. Just make sure you do your research on them and make sure they're decent sites.

You weren't put here as a "joke." God doesn't make JUNK. You were put here for a reason - and God wants you to figure that out. It's up to you -- maybe you are supposed to help other people. Maybe your new job is the right path for you. You have to figure that out ~ you'll know in time. Just listen to your "gut." That's God talking to you. Take care & God bless. We're here if you need us. Hugs, Lee