Don't know how to start up a serious converation with the hubby

Hello,

I know it sounds so weird but I really don't. If you have seen my past threads, I am going through a lot and I don't know how to talk to my husband about things that I am going through. I have it in my head that it's not a big deal and what I am going through will pass but it never does. I make little hints to the husband thinking he will know I want to talk so he can bring it up but no he doesn't.

So my question is, Did you ever have this happen to you? Do you feel like this way too?

im female and know that men dont take hints u need to sit him down and tell him what the issues are , failing that write him a letter and give it to him when u know he is in a good mood

Hints really are not helpful...somehow you've got to just pick a time to sit down and talk. Yes I have felt that it is a hard thing. I think if I had really communicated with my ex, we will still be together. I didn't know the word assertiveness then...but I knew the words passive and doormat well.

We are finally going to sit down and talk about everything tonight. I made a list of what I want to talk about.

Men don't follow little hints. Mine needs black and white in his face examples - i have to tell my husband that I need to talk to him and then tell him what's on my mind.

It's not the easiest thing to do, and I when he interrupts, I say "Please let me finish"

Try to make it all about how you feel, rather than what he does, because then it feels like an attack.
Example:
Instead of saying "It's very rude and obnoxious of you to interrupt me"
I say
"Please don't interrupt me - it ruins my train of thought and i can't get everything out" I just need to tell you how I feel, and then it will be your turn."

Obviously it's very rude to interrupt but saying it at that moment is not going to help what I'm doing and maybe turn our discussion into a fight, which I don't want.

Make sense?

Good luck!

Yes it does!!! Thank you for that tip! It will help me tonight when I talk with him.

Good luck, I_Love_Pink80.

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/***...2/METHOD=print

Thank you for that link! It is awesome info!

My husband can be kinda clueless at times and after awhile I feel like I'm trying to make him read my mind. We all know that doesn't work. He also has ADHD so sometimes I have to physically take him by the shoulders, look him in the eye and say "Honey, I need to talk to you. Please listen to what I have to say, it's really important."

While we would like them to read our minds, they can't. And it might be frustrating for him bc he probably feels the tension but has no clue how to bring it up, what is wrong etc..... You just need to spell it out for him. It doesn't sound like he is intentionally ignoring you but seems to be just........oblivious. My favorite is the letter. If it's hard for you to say aloud but you want him to know how you're feeling, write it all down and give it to him. Leave him the letter so he can read it alone and give him some time to process it. I'm sure he will probably feel bad for not noticing these hints in the first place and will want to at least try and support you. I hope you two can figure this out!

Thank you for the tip. I think I will try the letter thing. It felt silly for me to do the letter even though I should just talk to him about it and not have a problem doing so but it is hard for me to tell my feelings out loud.