[spaceid]

I'm 28 yo and used to have a close relationship with my mom. When I mean close I mean I always enjoyed being around her and she was one of the only people I felt like I could talk to. However, we never talked about much personal stuff, like relationships, but I could tell her about my day and things like that.

Over about the last year I just don't feel like I can do this anymore. I used to sit with her on the couch and lean on her and it felt secure. Now I'd rather be alone. Even when it is just me and her in the house. I'm upstairs and she's downstairs. I don't know if she has noticed anything different, but I just don't feel like I can talk to her anymore. We used to go out to eat and talk almost every weekend or hang out at the mall together, but I just don't want to do those things with her anymore.

I feel bad. But it seems like I get annoyed with her really quickly. My patience is gone. I always feel like yelling at her. I don't do it, but I just get frustrated around her. I don't know what is happening.

Does anyone think it is possible for a daughter to grow apart from her mother this much? We used to be so close that my sister-in-law envied our relationship. She wanted the same with her daughter. But I feel she does have that more than my mother and I do.

[Perna]

Hi, spaceid. Have you ever been "apart" from your mother? It could just be part of normal growing up, when we're looking around for ourselves and who we are/want to be and what we want to do with our lives, other people's lives become less important to us and can seem to be "in the way" of our moving forward. We have to grow into ourselves and that means growing a little apart from our parents.

[kindred1]

Originally Posted by spaceid

I'm 28 yo and used to have a close relationship with my mom. When I mean close I mean I always enjoyed being around her and she was one of the only people I felt like I could talk to. However, we never talked about much personal stuff, like relationships, but I could tell her about my day and things like that.

Over about the last year I just don't feel like I can do this anymore. I used to sit with her on the couch and lean on her and it felt secure. Now I'd rather be alone. Even when it is just me and her in the house. I'm upstairs and she's downstairs. I don't know if she has noticed anything different, but I just don't feel like I can talk to her anymore. We used to go out to eat and talk almost every weekend or hang out at the mall together, but I just don't want to do those things with her anymore.

I feel bad. But it seems like I get annoyed with her really quickly. My patience is gone. I always feel like yelling at her. I don't do it, but I just get frustrated around her. I don't know what is happening.

Does anyone think it is possible for a daughter to grow apart from her mother this much? We used to be so close that my sister-in-law envied our relationship. She wanted the same with her daughter. But I feel she does have that more than my mother and I do.

Dear Spacid, It is normal for mother/daughter relationships to change. Has she changed in some way that is annoying to you, or in a way that you can't relate to? If not, have you changed in some way that she is unable to relate to? My own mother and I went through so many changes. We even couldn't stand each other at one point. But now we are enjoying really supportive, enjoyable times together. She has really "mellowed out" which permitted me to really relax around her. Hope this helps.

[spaceid]

Originally Posted by Perna

Hi, spaceid. Have you ever been "apart" from your mother? It could just be part of normal growing up, when we're looking around for ourselves and who we are/want to be and what we want to do with our lives, other people's lives become less important to us and can seem to be "in the way" of our moving forward. We have to grow into ourselves and that means growing a little apart from our parents.

I have actually lived in another country away from my mom for two years. But that was about 6 years ago. I've been wanting to have my own place, but without m living with her she cannot pay all of the bills. I'm a student full time and I also work as many days as I can. My older brother also lives with us, but doesn't pay my mother anything. He has had a lot of health issues and can't work full time. I guess I am becoming resentful of my brother being able to live for free, but I give my mother my whole pay check every two weeks. She keeps saying he needs to pay something, but she tells me not him. I don't know what she wants me to do about it.

[spaceid]

Originally Posted by kindred1

Has she changed in some way that is annoying to you, or in a way that you can't relate to?

I don't know if she has changed, but when my mom tells me about problems with the rent or her job I feel like I take on all of her stress. Like I'm too empathetic. The she feels better and I feel really bad and worried. I just feel tired around her for some reason.

[realitysucks]

Originally Posted by spaceid

I'm 28 yo and used to have a close relationship with my mom. When I mean close I mean I always enjoyed being around her and she was one of the only people I felt like I could talk to. However, we never talked about much personal stuff, like relationships, but I could tell her about my day and things like that.

Over about the last year I just don't feel like I can do this anymore. I used to sit with her on the couch and lean on her and it felt secure. Now I'd rather be alone. Even when it is just me and her in the house. I'm upstairs and she's downstairs. I don't know if she has noticed anything different, but I just don't feel like I can talk to her anymore. We used to go out to eat and talk almost every weekend or hang out at the mall together, but I just don't want to do those things with her anymore.

I feel bad. But it seems like I get annoyed with her really quickly. My patience is gone. I always feel like yelling at her. I don't do it, but I just get frustrated around her. I don't know what is happening.

Does anyone think it is possible for a daughter to grow apart from her mother this much? We used to be so close that my sister-in-law envied our relationship. She wanted the same with her daughter. But I feel she does have that more than my mother and I do.

I thought I was the only one having relationship problems with my family. Me, my sister, & my mom have always been close. Here recently they just get on my nerves. I get mad, aggravated, and I don't want them around. My sister has to have drama in her life all the time. She is also controlling. Sometimes I wonder if its all me and not them.

[spaceid]

Originally Posted by realitysucks

Sometimes I wonder if its all me and not them.

Sometimes I wonder that too. I can get so aggravated at my mom, but I feel like I don't know why. I guess we all change as we get older and our issues can effect others and theirs can effect us.

I can understand you having trouble with your sister if you feel she is controlling. Do you feel like she tries to control you? I had a friend who was like that, but I didn't notice that she did that for awhile. Then I noticed I had kind of turned into a push over and I pushed back. That was over 10 years ago and we are best friends now. She had some issues she needed to deal with and it effected everyone around here. Luckily we all stayed friends and are best friends to this day.

[lapercheks90]

Have you sat down and talked to her? She is probably wondering what happened. I am really close to my girls 14 and 19. We talk about everything and anything. If something were to suddenly change to where we were in separate places like you mentioned, I would be wondering what happened. If you miss the closeness, then it's worth rekindling. If not, then just let her know you love her.

Originally Posted by spaceid

I'm 28 yo and used to have a close relationship with my mom. When I mean close I mean I always enjoyed being around her and she was one of the only people I felt like I could talk to. However, we never talked about much personal stuff, like relationships, but I could tell her about my day and things like that.

Over about the last year I just don't feel like I can do this anymore. I used to sit with her on the couch and lean on her and it felt secure. Now I'd rather be alone. Even when it is just me and her in the house. I'm upstairs and she's downstairs. I don't know if she has noticed anything different, but I just don't feel like I can talk to her anymore. We used to go out to eat and talk almost every weekend or hang out at the mall together, but I just don't want to do those things with her anymore.

I feel bad. But it seems like I get annoyed with her really quickly. My patience is gone. I always feel like yelling at her. I don't do it, but I just get frustrated around her. I don't know what is happening.

Does anyone think it is possible for a daughter to grow apart from her mother this much? We used to be so close that my sister-in-law envied our relationship. She wanted the same with her daughter. But I feel she does have that more than my mother and I do.