[Jenn1fer82]

I have so much anger towards my father and I wish I could have never met the undeserving man. I would have been better off being raised in a single parent home. My siblings and I were raised in the same home with the same deadbeat parents with a mother who wasn't strong enough to fight for a better life for us and a father with an iron hand and alcohol was more important then his family. For many years I fought for a family but now I'm done. What i dont understand is why does my siblings still go back home and celebrate this holiday: Father's Day. Our father doesn't deserve any part of our lives bc nothing he did helped us mature into a better person, instead the abuse showed all of us what we dont want in our lives. When he's drunk he cries and then he tells all of us that he loves us but on those gloomy days when he's an angry drunk he shows us how much he loves us by yelling and beating us up.
Why does my sibling return to that home and act like we have the best family ever. Why do they give our father a grand celebration with gifts and food for this Father Day's?
Why doesn't my siblings feel the same way as I do, what family did they get raised in bc I lived in hell all my life. One family but with 6 different perspectives.......

[Direction]

Its very hard to accept that a parent is toxic to us...I grew up with a father who used alcohol. My parents divorced when I was 12 and only saw him a handful of times until he died. I'm an only child so I've never really had to deal with siblings doing the typical son/daughter things towards a father I have little respect or a lot of anger towards. I'm not sure if they are trying to be the good son or daughter and earn the love the deserve (but probably will never receive from your father). I put all my energy into being with my kids and never being like my father was (good theory...although in practice this can be a bit unhealthy...just like trying to earned his love)

I can understand it would be frustrating to see them act this way...but we all deal with our pain differently...it is hard to tell sometimes which is the healthiest way...

[Perna]

Yes, some children can't allow the disruption in their thinking/lives to really see that their parents aren't. When we are children we are so dependent on parents and have to "accept" them to some degree in order to live and that can become all we know. Changing one's thinking or accepting that what we "have" isn't working and we have to go out and do something else, unknown to us, is very hard. It sounds like you are wishing for some "companionship"/validation in your own struggle with how you see your father. Your siblings , it sounds like, don't want to rock the boat/status quo.