To leave or not to leave?

I'm so confused. I met someone who lived somewhere else. I ended up moving. My son does not want to move here when summer is over.
I just found out I'm pregnant at 41. My boyfriend will not move. He said I could go back but he won't go with me and he expects me to still have the baby. I'm not happy about being pregnant. I don't want it. I want it to go away. What do I do? Do I move back home and have abortion and hurt this person or stay in relationship have baby and be miserable?

((Freedom41))

It sounds like you are at a major point in your life. You are pregnant, and not real happy about it. There are drawbacks if you stay with your unsupportive boyfriend as well as drawbacks if you go to be near your son.

You could have the baby, and put him/her up for adoption to a loving home. (My ex SIL adopted twice- a boy and girl - who are loved by everyone in the family.) That is an option for you to take.

Another option is to have the baby and separate from your bf, splitting custody of the child. Splitting custody isn't easy though, and does require communication with the father for the rest of your life.

The last option, abortion, is the last option that I can see. That option does have emotional and physical effects as well. It isn't easy.

Perhaps you should see a T to discuss the options, before making a major decision? Each decision does have consequences. Please get professional help, to help you work through & make the right decision for YOU. I wish you luck and peace.

One option for you would be to give birth, have your tubes tied, and give the baby up for adoption. That way you can continue to have sex without worrying about becoming pregnant again. Your boyfriend doesn't sound all that friendly and since you seem so torn about being separated from your son, you could move back to be with your son while you await the birth of the baby you could give up for adoption.

Definately put the boyfriend up for adoption, THEN focus on your options. I am so sorry you are having to go through this.

I agree with NuckingFutz...

I'm not sure if it's very wise to make such important decisions based on advice from the internet but I think shezbut laid out the basic options very well. I realize this is a support board and my comments may seem harsh but you are 41 years old. This is your life and your decision and it is a very important one. I agree completely that the welfare of the boyfriend is not important at all. You and the baby are what is important.
How old is your son and have you told him about your situation?

I third Nucking Futz.

This guy's response is not supportive. It won't be better when there's a new baby in the mix. Put the boyfriend up for adoption, move home, then focus on your options.

So sorry you are going through this.

Is there someone in your family that could adopt the child? You then could still be part of it's life and still have the life without the child. To me that is a better option than abortion.

My cousin got pregnant and had an abortion because she said she wasn't ready for a child and didn't want to be with the man. Turns out after she had the abortion they got engaged and they are about to get married.

Another situation is a married man had an affair with a women and got her pregnant. They went and had an abortion and she ended up getting pregnant again and had the child.

Moral of the story is- be cautious what you decide because you can't change an abortion but you can decide later in life that you truly do want a relationship with the child. I would not worry about the man and I would not let him affect the decision you make about the unborn child. He has made it apparent that he doesn't care about you or the child.

Stay in the relationship, have the baby, make it work, convince your son that this is the best route and be happy.

Why all the bashing on the guy? It takes two to tango. Just because he would rather not move does not make him a bad person. The fact that he wants her to have the baby shows that he does care about the child. If you care about this man then mutually discuss it and come to a compromise or make a sacrifice and move your son. He will get over it. Neither person is a victim here. But both are adults and responsible for this situation.