[Jenn1fer82]

Many times I've said to my bf that its over and that I'm no longer happy in our relationship of 2 years. I've posted a few times on here that I've left him and then I find myself going back to him bc as unhappy that I am with him it is still a form of comfort something that is familiar to me. Every time he brings up about my seizures it just makes me feel weak and insecure and then I find myself going back to him. He tells me he'll always be there for me regardless and somehow it makes me feel like I won't ever find someone as accepting as him. Well I told him again today that I'm leaving him and I can't live like this again.

How do you finally stand your ground and stay away from the person that you still love but you're just not happy. It was love that kept me in the relationship but everything around us was all wrong. It was bc of my insecurities with not being able to find someone as accepting as he's been with my seizures that I find myself calling him when I'm feel sick and I fall back into his arms and I give him a chance again. As much as he loves me and I love him too but in reality where he is in his life he can't be the man to take care of me to be that foundation, that rock in my life to help both of us move foreword in life. I want us to become partners not one person giving more than the other. These two years has been a long fight, many burdens and now I'm tired and I'm standing up for myself but my insecurities has been getting the best of me and I find myself wanting to call him. The problem is not about the love because we love each other deeply but where we are in our life right now, we are not right for one another.

[Perna]

You talk about "where we are in our life right now". . . look a bit further down the road and describe to yourself where you want to be? When driving a car one has to look a bit ahead of one's self, not right in front of the car as the speed at which one is driving makes it too hard to "keep up". Look further out in your life, say 5 years.

Will you have the same job? Will you live the same place? What factors of your life will be different? Can you concentrate and work on some other aspect of your life at the moment besides your relationship? Find a counselor or visiting nurse or someone to help you with your seizures (if you do not want your bf to)?

I don't know the specifics of why you do not feel he and his love cannot work for you. Are you sure that you or he are caring that much more than the other or could it just be your perception from a weak place in your life at the moment? Have the two of you tried couples counseling, gotten a third person's view of the relationship and its problems?

[PityPartyof1]

Originally Posted by Jenn1fer82

....I find myself going back to him bc as unhappy that I am with him it is still a form of comfort something that is familiar to me. ......he tells me he'll always be there for me regardless and somehow it makes me feel like I won't ever find someone as accepting as him. Well I told him again today that I'm leaving him and I can't live like this again.

How do you finally stand your ground and stay away from the person that you still love but you're just not happy. It was love that kept me in the relationship but everything around us was all wrong. It was bc of my insecurities with not being able to find someone as accepting as he's been with my seizures that I find myself calling him when I'm feel sick and I fall back into his arms and I give him a chance again. As much as he loves me and I love him too but in reality where he is in his life he can't be the man to take care of me to be that foundation, that rock in my life to help both of us move foreword in life. I want us to become partners not one person giving more than the other. These two years has been a long fight, many burdens and now I'm tired and I'm standing up for myself but my insecurities has been getting the best of me and I find myself wanting to call him. The problem is not about the love because we love each other deeply but where we are in our life right now, we are not right for one another.

I can relate to this a lot as I just "stood up" so to speak because I was tired of the things he said when I went back. I finally realized one of the many reasons I was going back to him was because of the emotional and psychological abuse. I must have been tired of the abuse, too, for "standing up" the way I did. This had been going on far too long I thought, 8 years. We dated 8 years ago and everytime I get lonely or something bad happens I call him. This time it was different. He wasn't verbally abusive over the phone for a few weeks. He came acrossed genuine, empathetic to my situation. He said he'd always love me, even called me out on a lot of things. The most important thing that stood out to me was when he said I only call him when the going gets tough. I never call when things are great. Well hello!!! It's because I didn't really want him back, I was just comfortable being abused by him and his put downs, and I finally had enough. Unfortunately all I can say is that you'll know when you know. You'll know when enough is enough!

Oh and another thing, about the insecurity... It's hard (I've got 'em). I can't codify your life and tell you not to be but I can suggest this: look beyond him and realize that there IS someone out there for you that will accept your seizures + ALL of you. He's not the only one. And I'm sure he's not the only one that will LOVE you just the way you are.