[marie711234]

I've been with my boyfriend for 4 months and he is already losing interest. About a year before we started dating, he ended an on again, off again, tumultuous relationship with the mother of his child. She is very manipulative and controlling with everyone in her life and is the main source of our fights. (e.g. She asks him if we're fighting, she finds excuses to call him when she knows we're together, she complains that he goes places with me that he was supposed to take her when they were together, she greets him and ignores me when she sees us out, etc.) I don't think he would ever want her back, but he won't just stand up to her and keep her entirely out of the personal aspects of our lives.
Other than the ex, he sometimes is not very interested in sex (he's more than content to have sex once a day, I would like more). He says it's not the same with us (sparks, etc) now as it was in the beginning and that he is bored and unhappy with me. I feel like I'm doing my part to be a great girlfriend and that he's trying to find reasons to break up. He is used to being used and mistreated with the person he dates and I don't think he can understand or appreciate what a normal, healthy relationship is all about. We are in our early 30's. I don't know if this relationship can be saved. He does talk about getting married in the future (he didn't discuss marriage with his ex).

[bertieb]

If he's losing interest then find you a man that deserves you, he is out there! You don't have to be with a man that says he is bored and unhappy with you. Primp yourself up and take YOU on a date alone or with a friend. Smile at people just for the fun of it and say hello. Don't even think about the marriage comment now if he says he's bored and unhappy already and you are not happy with the sex. Your relationship shouldn't be all this work for you within 4 months, it should still be blissful!

[marie711234]

I should add, he was with his ex on and off for 10 yrs and she is the only person who he dated before me. I think that's part of the reason he's so used to being in an unhealthy relationship. I would hate to think he "misses" her drama, but he is used to it.

[Direction]

Welcome to PC! Glad you could post about all that is going on.

I'm guessing you realize that the communication between the ex and your boyfriend will be something that continues considering they have a child together. I'm not sure how long its been since there were "on", but it will take some time for your boyfriend to get some boundaries in place. Hopefully, he sees what the ex is doing...being manipulative and controlling as you posted...if not this may be the best he is capable of... which leaves you in a position of accepting the intrusions...

Getting feedback about being bored and unhappy...is that your conclusions based on something else he said or did he use these words when he described how he was feeling. If he used these words, I'm guessing these would be a big red flag to tell you that this relationship won't make it much longer whether or not the ex is involved. If these are words you used to summarize how you felt about a conversation, then it would be worth getting further clarification from him.