[spaceid]

I'm having trouble bringing up an issue with this guy I know. I wasn't sure what we were doing with each other, but I thought we were most likely dating. I had been wanting to ask him what he thought for months, but I couldn't get the nerve. Finally one day I asked him via text if he thought we were just friends. (I didn't want to text him this, but it was the only way I could get enough guts to do it) He said "I guess" but wanted to know what I thought. I said I liked him and wanted more. He said that we need to sit down and talk about this. However, this was the day before he went on vacation. While on vacation he called me and again said that when he got back we would talk about our situation.

So it has been 2 weeks since he has gotten back, but we still haven't talked about it. We have seen each other nearly every day, I go to his house to eat dinner most nights and we go for walks, but I can't seem to bring this up with him. I feel as though I just freeze and the words won't come out of my mouth. My therapist is expecting me to have this talk with him and I have already disappointed her once. I'm seeing her again this Friday, but I still can't seem to bring anything up with him. It bothers me that he hasn't brought it up either especially since he was the one that was adamant that we sit down and talk about this.

My therapist says I should write him a letter since I can't seem to talk about this, but I think that would be weird and awkward. I just want to talk about this with him so bad because the anxiety is killing me. Does anyone have any advice? What can I do? I keep setting deadlines for myself, but I always chicken out. I have to do this before Friday, I don't want to tell my therapist that I still didn't do this. It was hard enough for me to text him the original question. I thought it would be easier now that I had started the conversation before he went on vacation, but it isn't. What should I do?

[JeanneDoe]

Sometimes its hard, but it seems like you know what you want to do. You want to talk to him in person. I think it is the best way because you can see his verbal and non verbal cues. You are a intelligent mature adult, you CAN do this! Think of it like taking off a band-aid. The faster you get it over with the sooner you will feel better. It seems to be that this is going to eat away at you until you finally get the answer you are looking for. You have to do whats best for you, dont keep prolonging the hurt. I think you will find relief from the anxiety once you get started talking. Thats always the way it work for me. I just have to push myself to do what I am frightened of. Then I realize its not so bad and I feel better, a huge weight lifted off of me. I think it better to find out now, then you will have one less thing to worry about and can move on with your life in whatever direction it goes. Hearing he may not want to be with you, they way you want him to will be hard. Is this something you rather know right away? I know I wouldnt want to kill myself over the situation.

Again, do whats best for you! Look deep down inside and see what you want, trust yourself. You will survive this! Be strong and take control of your life, this may be the only one you get. Make the best of it, dont waste your time on someone if they dont give you what you want and deserve! Fight for your happiness and be your own hero. You are stronger than you know.

[jamminpianogirl]

If you don't feel comfortable writing a letter, why don't you try bringing it up via text again? One of the days you know you are going to see him, just shoot him a text saying "hey, we still gotta talk about our relationship status! Maybe we could talk discuss it tonight?" or something along those lines. Then, when you meet up a couple hours later, he will be expecting to talk about it and hopefully you can ease into the conversation.

Alternatively, you could try talking over the phone if it's easier? Face to face is always the best way to communicate, but at this point I think any way you can get through to him is good!