being alone / lonely

I recently broke up with my boyfriend. I have been trying to be busy and stuff, but you really can't avoid downtime sometimes. I don't want to go back to the relationship, I was unhappy in it for many reasons.

I don't know what to do? Should I "embrace" the loneliness as part of the human condition? I mean, he was a part of my life for almost 2 years.

Sometimes I really have no clue what to do during these times of uncomfortable aloneness and loneliness.

ha, then I start thinking of stuff I could do, lol. but it really does help to just vent about it / talk about it, thanks.

A broken heart always heal. How old are you? Maybe we can get along. I am 48, single and never married.

Hi ~ I know what you mean. After my husband died, I was SO lonely. I didn't know what to do with myself.

But then i realized that i had to learn to be comfortable in my own skin -- and i found out that being alone is different that being lonely. I got so that i enjoyed my time by myself. I guess you have to learn "who" you are before you can be comfortable alone.

Now i don't mind being alone so much. I'm not such a "bad person" to be around. LOL You just have to be careful that you don't isolate, or spend ALL your time alone.

God bless & take care. Hugs, Lee

It takes a while to recover from a relationship that ended, especially if it was troubled or ended badly. Be kind to yourself during this time of recovery even if some things don't go well in that time.

It's by no means scientific either and just a suggestion but I personally follow a guideline that for every years duration of a relationship that ended I take at least two months to recover and become comfortable in myself again, like recently.

As for loneliness, it's like Leed said. But you're certainly not alone in being alone or single. There are millions of others who feel the same way and will in future.

And as I'm sure you hinted at already, do things or go to places you know you'll like and interact with various people there at the time or along the way who seem decent. If they're someone as non threatening as an old man or lady, get to know their personal stories.

Thank you so much, Leed, and Hope_Walker. I just got back from getting ice cream. It wasn't the best thing to do, but I feel like I kinda ran out of things to do at the moment. I actually do feel better. Though I think it's because I read you responses too.

Hope Walker, you know, that two months for every year thing that you said, actually makes me feel better. Like I'm realizing it's going to take time to heal.

I broke up with him. Right now we are still friends. But I still feel an awful sadness sometimes. I think it's good that we broke up right now.

I need to trust. And that's scary. Because you just don't know. I'm trying to do what my heart feels is right. I'm trusting my gut. I guess I'm being "brave" and courageous. But when I feel sad like this, it's easy to want to go back to him.

For instance, yesterday, he was over at my house and I said to him (through the bathroom door mind you...) does he want to maybe get back together. But it was weird. I didn't feel right saying it. It didn't feel right, I almost didn't really want it. I didn't.

Then, he ended up saying, he wants to give me some time. And I felt relief. I felt glad. I think maybe that's a sign. I need to listen to myself.

I just don't get why I feel sad.

Thank you, for listening / reading this if you have, I know it's kind of long.