[Helloanxiety]

I really need help on overcoming my possessiveness and jealousy. I hate feeling like it and it's causing problems between me and my boyfriend. Im so possessive that I get annoyed when he wants to go out or see his friends or do anything! And my jealousy is so over the top that I get angry when he simply mentions a girl.
I know that this really isn't healthy but might have some reasons as to why I feel like this.
First of all, I am very insecure with myself and still don't understand what it is that he loves about me. I've never had feelings like the ones I have for him and i'm terrified of losing him. Throughout my life i've never had any reliable or trustworthy male models. And I thought perhaps that i'm an only child and so i've never had to "share" anything may also contribute.
Does anyone have any idea of how I can control this so that we both can have more freedom and be happier within the relationship??

[Vampyre]

I've been through the same thing. *hugs*
The best thing is to get your esteem up. I know its tough to think you're worthy but you are. You deserve happiness and joy and love. Everyone does.
Never question why your bf is with you. He's with you because he wants to be When you do question it, it causes you to overthink and be jealous of females in his life (be it work, friends, etc.)
I know what you mean by meeting someone who's changed your life...filled in what was missing and the fear of losing it. Try to think positively and know that you can control your emotions and that your bf loves you...for who you are.
I wish you luck.

[Leed]

I know this is difficult but the fact that you recognize it is half the battle!

I think if it were me, I'd get some therapy. I've benefited from therapy ALOT -- and it's helped me to deal with character traits that were not very pleasant. If you can't afford it, most county's have a Mental Health department, where counseling is offered based on the ability to pay. You might even be able to get it for free -- you'd have to check.

Getting the proper counseling can put an end to this jealousy & possessiveness. I wish you the very best of luck -- and i hope your bf is patient. Ask him to just bear with you for awhile. God bless & please take care. Hugs, Lee

[xxKaneLovesZoexx]

Hey! I'm her boyfriend. (: And I'll wait forever and a day. I'll never ever give up. And that I will forever love her. =]

[Vampyre]

Originally Posted by xxKaneLovesZoexx

Hey! I'm her boyfriend. (: And I'll wait forever and a day. I'll never ever give up. And that I will forever love her. =]

If you really are....you telling her that does make a difference...give her love, have much patience and sometimes some time alone.

I wish you both much luck

[Soul Quake]

Get together with friends yourself. Don't take your insecurities out on him, as they are your own. If you're going to lose him to anything, it would be to your jealousy and insecurity rather than a female or his friends.

[bigdog773]

Originally Posted by Helloanxiety

I really need help on overcoming my possessiveness and jealousy. I hate feeling like it and it's causing problems between me and my boyfriend. Im so possessive that I get annoyed when he wants to go out or see his friends or do anything! And my jealousy is so over the top that I get angry when he simply mentions a girl.
I know that this really isn't healthy but might have some reasons as to why I feel like this.
First of all, I am very insecure with myself and still don't understand what it is that he loves about me. I've never had feelings like the ones I have for him and i'm terrified of losing him. Throughout my life i've never had any reliable or trustworthy male models. And I thought perhaps that i'm an only child and so i've never had to "share" anything may also contribute.
Does anyone have any idea of how I can control this so that we both can have more freedom and be happier within the relationship??

I am dealing with the same feelings and I'm a male. I have been told by the woman I absolutely adore that I have to trust her. That she loves only me and has done nothing for me to distrust her. I cope by realizing that she had a life before me with other men and has remained friends (strictly with a couple of them) however, I catch my mind visualizing her with them romantically and sexually and become up set with myself for these thoughts.

I have learned not to react to my feelings however, she is not the type to express her love for me as much as I'd like to hear it, she admits to feelings of insecurity and is a very independant woman but, loving in so many other ways.

You have to try and let go a little, give him a little freedom and most of all trust in him and yourself. If you keep him on a short leash like you're doing he will eventually bolt to someone else. be kind, loving, supportative, even if you feel differently, make him want to be with you.\

You can do it, I am...it's not easy but, I don't want to lose this wonderful woman because of my stupid suspicons.

[morbid_jealous]

I have the same jealousy, morbid jealousy. but mine is different from the subject that has been told in health sites or books. I don't think that my partner will cheat on me, but I'm afraid if he finds some other women except me beautiful or attractive. He says he don't because he loves me, I sometimes belive in him but I can't stop asking questions and whenever I question him, his answer evokes another question in my mind. or sometimes I realize a conflict between his current answer and previous answers, so I feel the intense need to ask another question about it. this process of course destroys me, him and our marriage. I know questioning, over-thinking, limiting him etc. are nonsense but the psychiatrists also tell me that my expectation to be the only beautiful one for him is also nonsense. but he is the only handsome and attractive man for me, I can feel that way, so why won't he feel this way? It is possible and I don't agree with the people who tells me that. why I can't believe him is because of him being a male and his conflicts in his answers.