[ACanthony]

Hello all. I am 27 years old and just came into a relationship with a new girl, 'Sara.' We just officially started dating and we have only known each other for about a month. My problem is this: Sara is very pretty. That's fine. She will attract attention from other guys and she has a lot of guy friends but I accept that; it's part of the territory of being a pretty girl! I guess my problem is that she tells me she really, really likes me. She will say things that are a little over the top. Like that I am her whole world and that she wants to be with me forever. I think most guys wouldn't want to hear that, but to me, it's nice that I know she likes me. I can tell 100% she does have feelings for me and loves being around me. But when she tells me these things it's like "how can I possibly believe that after only a month?" It's not like she isn't used to having a boyfriend. She could probably get a new guy in a week if she wanted to. It's just hard for me to believe she could feel that strongly about me. I'm a very nice guy but I'm definitely not a Prince.

Ladies, any advice on how to proceed or should I just relax and take a chill pill? Any help would be nice.

[Yoda]

Does she seem to have a self esteem problem? I agree it is inappropriate to express such strong emotions so early in the relationship. Not really sure how you should proceed, just day to day to see what happens next?

[palemoss]

maybe that is how she really feels.

stop doubting it and just go with the flow - do you have low self-esteem? why can't you believe that you really are somebody's world?

i will admit, that is strange. she is not playing any games, well any obvious/cliche games. since most guys like b*tches. haha.

don't think about it too much, mate. have fun.

[protector1973]

maybe all her relationships follow a similar pattern of falling head over heels in love then few months down line its allover. starts again same drill with next guy. its only a senario.

[ACanthony]

Originally Posted by palemoss

maybe that is how she really feels.

stop doubting it and just go with the flow - do you have low self-esteem? why can't you believe that you really are somebody's world?

i will admit, that is strange. she is not playing any games, well any obvious/cliche games. since most guys like b*tches. haha.

don't think about it too much, mate. have fun.

I don't have self esteem problems, but at the same time, I guess I'm pretty humble. I think I could be someone's whole world, but that person would have to love me first. There definitely is not love here yet. You are right though. Perhaps I need to not think about it as much....Let go and let flow, right?

[ACanthony]

I guess a big problem is that when she says "I'm her whole world" or "hope to have you in my life forever", her actions and words don't line up. Like she doesn't even remember my last name. And little things like that. I guess I'm obsessing over these details, perhaps even paranoid, but I really don't want to waste her or my time. A girl who really thought I was her whole world would remember my last name. I also wrote her a sweet poem and responded to my email and didn't even mention the poem that I wrote her.....When I fall in love I fall hard so I don't want to get hurt I guess. Yes, of course I should relax, but herein lies the problem. I'm too nice for my own good. Someone...tell me something, anything

[RomanSunburn]

I personally think you should take what she says with a grain of salt. I don't think you should break up with her or anything, but I also don't think you should place full confidence in the fact that she believes you are her whole world right now. To me, that sounds like someone that doesn't have a good, strong sense of identity, which could cause problems later on. I guess I would take it day by day. Don't throw yourself into this with utter and complete abandon (meaning, keep your own identity as an individual), but don't distance yourself from her to the point of being cold. You're only a month in. Day by day to see how things progress. I don't think you need to make a decision right now.

[StrongerMan]

Big red flag from my experience. Usual indicates poor emotional boundaries. Proceed with caution. Do your due diligence. Learn all you can about her before you commit any feelings... her past relationships, her current friends, how she gets along with family members, any history of abuse in childhood, how she treats others, is she taking the time and effort to get to know you? Things that seem troublesome early on in a relationship usually only become worse once a person really starts to relax and show their true colors. Once she earns your trust, she is then deserving of greater and deeper emotional investment.

[LookingforCalm]

From my experience, I am wary of those who latch on too fast. Saying things like that raise a red flag with me, because I think they themselves have more problems that I do, and that's saying a lot!

I think you're right to be cautious about her. But don't look so down on yourself. Take this relationship slow, and let her know that's what you want to do.

[Soul Quake]

She sounds like a tease. Your suspicions are warranted.

You made a very good point.She would remember your name and mention the poem.I think she feels strong feelings of affection when she says these things,but hasn't actually figured out what love in its mature sense really is.I think her ease with this is an indicator of flightiness.Please guard your heart.Try to enjoy the time,but,be prepared for her pulling out.

[ACanthony]

Update:
So 'Sara' sensed that I was feeling kind of down yesterday. I kind of told her (in a nice, non controlling way) that while I appreciate the way she feels about me, some times I feel as though she is not giving me any time.

I should have mentioned in my original post (but didn't want to make it super long) that 'Sara' has a 1 year old baby. And she does work a lot. She seems like the anxious type and gets worried a lot. It is possibly when she gets stressed out she really can't think about anything but her problems at hand. If this is the case, how would I deal with it while still requesting some of her time? She made my heart feel safe last night by the words she was saying and she apologized numerous times for not giving me enough time. I know I will have to guard my heart And of course let everything go with the flow

[torotsigns]

AC just stay a little protective of yourself.. the relationship's far too new for you to really truly know her. From what I've seen, everybody puts their best face forward in the beginning - I'd say at LEAST 6 months - before you start seeing the not so good parts of them. Enjoy the relationship for what it is but don't buy the "I'll know you forever!" stuff yet. You still have a lot to learn about her. Just like you told me - Let go and let God right?

[ACanthony]

Originally Posted by Gruuvigirl

AC just stay a little protective of yourself.. the relationship's far too new for you to really truly know her. From what I've seen, everybody puts their best face forward in the beginning - I'd say at LEAST 6 months - before you start seeing the not so good parts of them. Enjoy the relationship for what it is but don't buy the "I'll know you forever!" stuff yet. You still have a lot to learn about her. Just like you told me - Let go and let God right?

Yes, that is exactly the right advice. I guess the problem is we both are kind of getting out of troubled relationships. We both really like the other person and we can kind of see down the line how it would work out. And we both really want it to work out. So when she tells me that kind of stuff like "I want to be yours forever" I think she probably does think that...but doesn't feel it yet of course. Thank you my friend!