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Old Jul 14, 2011, 12:36 PM
ms. confused ms. confused is offline
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Member Since: Jul 2011
Posts: 3
i cheated on my husband a month ago n he just recently found out about 2 weeks ago. i know it was wrong but i wasnt being heard so i thought that was the onky way he would listen to me. im not sure that my love for him is strong enough for us to be married but at the same time i dont want to leave. he's not even mad at me anymore and i think thats super wierd cause i would have left me.

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  #2  
Old Jul 14, 2011, 02:07 PM
Mediator Mediator is offline
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Member Since: May 2011
Posts: 511
Hi
It seems that you need a help to make a lovely marriage. I am sorry if you wanted something other to hear.
Mediator
  #3  
Old Jul 14, 2011, 06:59 PM
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RomanSunburn RomanSunburn is offline
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Member Since: May 2008
Location: East Coast, USA
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Perhaps the two of you should go to couples counseling to work on your communication? Can you give some examples for why you feel he isn't hearing you? From my end, cheating seems like an extreme "solution" and yet he still didn't react the way you wanted him to. What kind of reaction were you looking for? Did you want him to leave you because you don't want to be the one to walk out on the relationship?

I'm sorry I don't have much advice for you. I truly feel that counseling to work on your communication skills is key. I also think you need to figure out exactly what you want from this relationship, or if you even want to be in it.
  #4  
Old Jul 15, 2011, 03:56 PM
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Silent_tsol Silent_tsol is offline
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Member Since: Jul 2011
Location: Canada
Posts: 895
Counselling will definitely help. For both of you individually as well as couple's. I think it's likely that his anger will resurface. It's a long road to recovery and it has many many ups and downs. Our bodies have the ability to filter things for what you can handle to a degree, there's a chance he really doesn't feel angry right now, but at some point, I believe it's going to come back.

Heading into a relationship most people say cheating is a dealbreaker. When I found out about my boyfriend's cheating, I spent a long time wondering why the heck I still loved him. I was supposed to leave right? If you are wondering if you can make it because of your remorse, that's understandable. But if you are wondering if you have the same loving feelings for your husband, you need to decide quick.

If you are going to make it work, be open with him. If he asks a question, even if you think he won't like the answer, answer it honestly. Witholding more information will make things 100x worse. Let him make decisions for his life. Do NOT contact your affair partner. Ever. Ever ever. No new contact = no new hurts. You cannnot be friends with him and keep your husband (sane at least).
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