Should I take him back when...

He had been texting his girlfriend for a month. They never saw eachother, or did anything physical, it was purely texting. ...but it got to the point were he said he loved her.

Before you guys say "leave him" a little background on us. We've been together for over 2 years. Aand basically.. perfect for eachother. Anyone can tell. We're not lovey-dubbie we just perfectly co-exist in harmony with eachother. We're always together, we laugh, we play fight, we get angry and laugh about it, we workout together, we pig out together, we get along with eachothers friends and families, we can't be apart for more than a day. Friends usually come to us for relationship advice. We were even voted best couple in school. We're strange but for some reason we can't get enough of eachother. He is the person i go to for anything. I've never been as close with a friend or family member as I am with him. He knows me better than anyone in the world.

So when i found out he had this emotional attachment with his ex from about 3 years ago I was in complete shock. I saw the text, he did not tell me. He cried and begged and i took him back quickly. I just knew it was nothing serious besides him being a totally stupid and a complete ***. The worst part is he can't say it was a one time mistake because he had been talking to her for a month. I feel completely betrayed and like the biggest fool. But taking him back was easier than letting him go.
Recently though, I decided the smart thing to do was end it, because although i still love him and we still have tons of fun with eachother i will never be able to forget. He is leaving to the military and ill be leaving to college so I figured might as well let him go now so he can enjoy the rest of his summer without me bringing him down with my mood.

I've never been so sure of anything in my life. I still love him and i want to take him back. I know he loves me but I don't know what i should do.
I desperately need advice... I'd love to hear your guys' opinions. Thank those of you who took the time to read this.. what should i do?

Welcome to the Community, beatbox. Trust is a big part of any relationship. You must decide if you are better off with or without him.

I agree with Byzantine- Trust is a big part of any relationship..... Honesty is another.

I have to be a little honest -- i'm confused. You're a little contradictory in your post. You've never been so sure of anything in your life, yet you don't know what to do? What are you sure of?

I agree with what the others said, honest and trust are key in any relationship. Without those, your foundation is shaky. Especially if you're going into a long distance relationship, without those two things along with communication, it could be nothing short of torture, unless you are both willing to work diligently to get past this...

I had a similar thing happen in my relationship. idk,its a hard one. all I know is 'you cant go to the store and buy a bag of trust.' its earned. if you cannot get past it, then you should re-evauate if this is the relationship for you.

I gather from your post that you guys are in high school? While I know it's difficult, I'm a huge believer in paying attention to the signs the Universe is giving you, even if it's not something you want to see. You guys are at a huge crossroads in your life. He's going off to the military and you're starting college! How exciting!

Everything is new and you guys are basically starting over. And out of nowhere you're thrown this huge curveball that just happens to coincide with a whole lot of other changes in your life. The chances of you two being able to maintain a romantic relationship are slim to none. But if you let him go because you want to be able to go into these new experiences with a clean slate, you'll head off what's bound to happen anyway (statistics don't lie.. chances of being the exception are rare).. and you guys might have a shot at keeping a friendly relationship and maybe someday reconnecting.

Or you can drag this out.. go against what the Universe is telling you to do.. and end up hating each other and forever ruining any chance of something happening between you again later on. You guys need to go have some life experiences of your own. If you come back together, you'll be so much stronger and independent for it. One thing I'm learning right now, you gotta be able to be on your own to be able to be part of a successful lasting relationship.

wow. you deserve someone way better that is just so disrespectful.

i wouldnt cut all ties with him. but i would start dating other guys. and dont sleep with him anymore, but remain casual friends - and keep your jealousy, anger, and hurt in check. the best way to get back at him is to show that you dont care.

To honesty and trust, I would add boundaries, rules, and limitations. I've cheated and been cheated on, and at some point, you just have to say, "This can't go on. Here's what I expect from you, and this is what will happen if I don't get it."

I would stay friends with him, but move out of the relationship. I had a similar situation in a past relationship. At the time I tried to forgive him, but I constantly found myself harking back to what he'd done. In the end we broke up, and although I'm now on friendly terms with him, I'm very glad that the romance broke down. He's gone on to treat his second wife even worse than he treated me, and is now on his third long term relationship. Some men just don't know what they have when they have it. It might be better for him to learn early that you can't mess about like that. If you can teach him one lesson that's a good one, it might even make him happier in the long run, as well as you.

But it's difficult, I know. Perhaps he's just young and foolish, and he won't do it again. You know him better than we do.