[DreamingAway]

hi,
does anyone else having this problem? I can't trust people and it causes problems in making friends or falling in love. I simply can't trust. I don't know why because I haven't been betrayed or cheated by anyone (mostly because I never let anyone get close to me.)

yours,
Dreamy

[Peanut61]

Hello Dreamy, and welcome to the site! I have trust issues as well; I think many of us do. I hope you'll keep posting and maybe we can work together to sort some of it out, eh? Best regards, Peanut

<font color=blue>HI FROM PEANUT</font color=blue>

[Orchid]

My mother once said never say "can't". Sometimes we think we cannot do the impossible. It's possible you can trust. You can take tiny steps with it by letting people in slowly. You can divulge little unimportant things first and then see if you can trust them with it.

Really it's a smart thing not to trust right away. We live in a dangerous world now a days and you are right not to be all trusting.

"Man's mind stretched to a new idea
never goes back to its original dimensions. "
Oliver Wendell Holmes

[LadyDragus]

First off Welcome to the fourms

having trust issues is a small thing.. I could say trust me on this but, you may not. Which I fully understnad.

I have some trust issues with my ex for he lies to me all the time.. Right now, he is lieing to me about why he does not want to come in and so forth.. to see his daugter..
Trust is to me something that is "earned" not giving freely.. if you do not show me I can trust you, wich every one has differnt things to show if you can trust them.

So take it slow, people have to earn your trust. and giving it can be hard if you have been hurt, or do not want to let them in.. Letting others in, has to be all up to you. not them.. You hve to be able to turst yourself first then them.. it is all steps..

Just like Penut said.. Keep posting and maybe we can help you work out this feeling you have

<font color=purple>The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost.
- G.K. Chesterton
<font color=purple>

[forgoten]

Hi Dreamy,

I don't trust either but I know why. You say that nobody betrayed you, maybe you saw other people being hurt because they have trusted. If you don't let people get close to you, there is probably a reason somewhere.
If you keep posting maybe we can help you. You are very welcome here!

Take good care!
forgoten

[Sam]

Trust is the most important thing in any relationship, be it here among friends online, in one's everyday personal life, at work, and etc.

Many times when we place our trust in people we are disappointed, but let me let you in on something of great importance ...

If someone has lied or betrayed your trust - then it is natural one wouldn't trust that person, at least, not at first. But, if it is someone that has never given you any reason not to trust them, then you harm yourself more than you do them.

Any relationship requires trust from all parties. If you're not willing or able to trust them, do you believe they will trust you? A person unwilling to let others in, to give them trust, seldom ever receives it in return.

I can't help but think of the old saying, "It is better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all."

Don't you think?

Just some thoughts,

Your friend Sam

"You'll never know what you're capable of if you don't try."

[Willow]

I have this problem. It is common among abuse survivors methinks. I've been taking measures to step out and trust anyway though. "It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all."

[Fuzzybear]

Hi Dreaming! I have this problem too. I have made some bad choices with people in the past ... ie not letting someone go completely when the connection was in effect probably over, or damaged, and so getting hurt more, by someone who was abusive, deceitful or terminally selfish. I also saw a therapist who I feel betrayed my trust. I am getting better though ... and I am starting to let more people get closer. I'm trying, anyway ... I don't think it is necessarily helpful to see this as a black and white thing ... that you simply can't trust. (Perhaps you can learn ... ... ) Maybe if you hang out with us here, we can help you a little. It seems that many of us have trust issues ... as Willow said, it is often related to abuse. Well, I hope this made some kind of sense ... probably not.

Take care,
Fuzzy