My husband and I are having problems. Actually we've been having problems for years. I started going to individual counseling six months ago and it has really brought to light how some of these issues impact me. All of these positive changes that I have been making in myself have affected the marriage and my H has his heals dug in deep. He has no desire to see the situation change although he has agreed to go to therapy.

Does anyone have any positive experiences from Couples Therapy? Does it really help? or Is it the final straw that breaks the marriage?

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/mar...9/METHOD=print

Ok, this post has been up for 24 hours. This does not give me a lot of hope that others have experienced positive outcomes from couples therapy. Thanks Byzantine for the information it was helpful.

[RomanSunburn]

Weekends at PC have a tendency to be very slow. For me, personally, I'm rarely on PC on the weekends because it's the little time I get to spend with my fiance. Right now, he's studying though, so I needed something to entertain me.

Anyways, my fiance and I will probably be starting couples therapy in the next couple months. We're very much in love, but we're having problems with fighting and communication right now simply because we're both really, really stressed and having trouble being supportive for one another. He's trying to find a new job and get away from his old one which was making him really depressed. I'm working two jobs, trying to find a third, which isn't going well. On top of this, we're planning a wedding from half way across the country.

But as I don't have any experience with couples therapy (only individual for myself), I can only say that both people have to really want things to change for anything to work. You can bring a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. I think if he's willing to go to therapy, though, you should give it a shot. Maybe he wants to change, but is scared because he likes the familiar. Even if it's a negative situation, the familiar feels much safer than changing things around. I would definitely talk about these things with your current therapist, possibly with your couples therapist when you get one.

Good luck! Keep us updated on how things turn out. I'd like to hear about your experiences at couples therapy if you do decide to start.

[Silent_tsol]

Hey, I've only been to couples therapy once. I wish we could have gone more but it's so out of our budget right now. I think it can be a great resource. I know some couples that have done it and sometimes they would leave feeling worse off because they're talking about things that are upsetting them but in the end you have the skills to fix it. From what I've heard a lot of it is learning to communicate. During our one session we learned "when you ___, I feel ___, I need ___". This has really helped us communicate better in a way that doesn't criticise or blame/create as much defensiveness. When we have the money we would both like to go a few more times.

I think the more you put into it the more you'll get out of it. And it's important to find a counsellor that clicks with you and can work to whatever your goals are

[shezbut]

(((ReadytoStop)))

My experience is that both individuals in the couple have to be aiming towards the same goal.

Repairing the relationship ~ remembering the vows once taken, and willing to work to get back into that state of mind with one another again. It isn't an instant process, but there are small positives that you can see as you go through counseling together. Hold onto that commitment. I wish you and your hub the very best!

[greywolfe81]

It took me and my fiance four therapists before we found the right one for us. We've gone every other week for over a year. It helped.
Our problems aren't what we once had but it's still nice to go and have a mediator to get us through some of our rough spots in communication.
I would recommend it if you are able to find someone you both like.

[madisgram]

it works most times if both parties want to work on their relationship.
it works if each of you are honest in therapy.
it works best if you can afford a therapist who is well qualified and specializes in this area of psychology.
it works best if both of you go to individual therapy as well, not just you.
wishing you the best outcome.