[Brogen]

light bulb moment...more like flashlight in my eyes moment. when your codependency is so strong and overwhelming that you are shutting everyone down around you because they are so tired of dealing with you....what do you do???

i'll give you/myself a hint...

you start replacing old habits with new habits..

and you thank God that he has placed someone in your life who is willing to let you know what's going on way before they get so tired of it they bail.

please please please let God and I make this better before i wreck this amazing gift...i'm totally freaked out that i do horribly distructive things to my relationships on a daily, hell HOURLY basis. it's frustrating and scary and i want to make this better in every way possible as soon as possible.

i am so lost

[CedarS]

Please get help from a therapist, if you aren't already.

Are you getting enough sleep? Are you taking good care of all your healthy daily needs?

[Brogen]

Originally Posted by CedarS

Please get help from a therapist, if you aren't already.

Are you getting enough sleep? Are you taking good care of all your healthy daily needs?

thank you for this post!!

i haven't started therapy yet..it's coming soon though. i really want to get started soon...REALLY SOON

i probably don't sleep enough but i do what i can. i am proud of the fact that i do take care of myself in practally every other way. i eat right, have a physically demanding job that keeps me in shape and i'm going to go to my first CoDA meeting next week. i really want to have something started before i go to my therapist. my girlfriend and i talk almost every day about what's going on. in a very loving and supportive way we talk about what i'm doing, how my behaviors are distructive. she has been through this before and i trust her. i'm finally realizing how deep i have these characteristics and behaviors set into my personality. i've been like this for well over 25 years. i barely remember a time when i valued my own sense of worth over someone elses opinion of me. i put on a really great front as this super nice guy who is always helpful and supportive. it's really easy to do that when you're not supporting yourself or being your own person. i'm a chameleon. i'm not me, i'm everyones perception of me. i don't know how to be myself, i know how to be what you want, but i don't know how to be what i want. because i don't know what i want, or who i am....i know who and what i want to be but i'm clueless as to how to get there. i recognize that i'm not in control of my emotions, i have no control of what others do and i'm starting to see that i don't have to save everyone. i don't have to help everyone, they can make it on their own. sometimes people don't need help or want any help. they enjoy the challenge or just knowing that they are fine on their own and can get by just fine without anyone "saving" them. it's been a long time coming for this and i'm ready for this recovery to begin.