[a_vijay]

i am 38 yrs old with 2 kids . Though we stay as a family, there is no communication between me/wife. She feels that i am not upto her level now. Doesnt share things with me . only answers in one word if asked. She might have different priorities now and i understand that she is wanting to better her life .her perspective has changed a lot. So i dont want to be pulling her back. but it takes a toll on me when there is no one to talk to. She does take very good care of the kids.
i resort to drinking /smoking due to this and this causes my wife to move away from me more. it is going on like a chain reaction.
nowadays i dont ask her anything but if she feels like sharing something i am all ears...just i dont want to go ask voluntarily because she gets mad when i do that.

what am i doing wrong? How do i handle this situation ? how do i distract myself and still stay together for the sake of kids?

[krazi_kristi]

im very sorry for your situation. i dont think theres any advice i can offer you, im very young and have never been married. i do realize how sad it is to feel ignored, especially by somebody you love, or did love. has she told you she doesnt want to comminicate with you anymore? maybe shes just in a "funk"

[missbelle]

Staying together for the sake of the kids is never good. I am very sure the children are super aware of the relationship you have with your wife. You are teaching them about marriage. Is that the way you want to portray marriage to them? You may be doing more harm then good.

The children need to see" happy" and if that is two parents who live apart and in separate houses then so be it.

[geez]

Have you looked into marrage counseling. Unfornatly my husband has no intrest :-( and I feel like I may be forced to pull out the divorce card eventually.

[clouds_and_sun]

Hi there, ((hugs)) I don't know if my advice will be good cause I have never been married, but if I were in your situation and my hubby was not talking much I would try marriage counseling and if that does not work I would maybe think about a trail seperation and be sure to talk to your T if you do decide to go down that route.
(((hugs))) I hope it all works out for you. Please keep us updated.

[lad007]

you have a right to know why your own wife won't talk to you. Too bad if she gets mad when you ask her, if she doesn't want to be with you, she should have the guts to say so, not ignore you and treat you like she's "better than you". You were good enough to marry, what has changed?
If my husband started to act like this, I would get an explanation, I know you may be afraid to find out, but with no communication what kind of marriage do you have?
It's hurting you as you are smoking and drinking, don't do this to yourself.
It's better for kids to be in two separate homes than an unhappy one. If they don't see their parents as loving each other, having fun together, working together, etc. they may have problems with their own adult relationships.
I would demand an answer for this behavior, it's not acceptable.

[mimmzy]

You have to confront your wife, tho' you are afraid to. Smoking and drinking is just punishing yourself and avoiding the unavoidable. You are entitled to some sort of explanation......there can be no marriage if there is no communication. If she won't agree to go with you for professional help then you might want to seek some professional help by yourself to see how and what to do next. Perhaps a trial separation.