[IntheMidst]

I have been very unsuccessful socially throughout my life. At home I was lucky if my father ever acknowledged my presence. I struggled as a child and a teenager when interacting with others.

I never liked to be told what to do and was never willing to let someone make me do anything. I had a very creative mind and, instead, preferred to do things alone.

Reasonably attractive, my social group as a teenager became and remained the boys who liked me and wanted to date me. I had to transfer to a diffferent high school due to my father's job transfer. I attended and completed college but, other than the men that I dated, never got close to anyone after the friendships that I had at the two high schools.

Now a professional, I still don't connect with others. Beyond independent study for degrees and licenses, I have a very tough time planning and completing anything. My intentions are always impressive. I exercise on a daily basis alone. I work 6 days a week, spending the day off sleeping and getting caught up on chores.

It still strains me to have to extend the effort to engage in conversations beyond work assignments. I always try to say "Hello" but honestly don't have any interest in anyone else beyond that until I need them for work-related matters. Sometimes I am capable of extending a bit more effort. However, the truth is that I really prefer to be alone and have people mind their business and leave me alone as well. I have lost job after job because of my social handicap.

I have recently begun to feel regrets regarding my life. I feel unhappy, although I have to admit that is not something that I am unfamiliar with. I wish that I could be a friendly, selfless person who smiles often and draws others to her by helping them be comfortable with her.

Welcome to the Community, IntheMidst. As a person with a creative mind, how do you think you could become "... a friendly, selfless person who smiles often and draws others to her by helping them be comfortable with her."?

[unaluna]

I hope you find people who will touch your heart here. I certainly have, but before that, I would say I was more like you, probably still am. But this is a pretty safe place to learn how to connect. I hope to see more from you in the days and weeks ahead.

[emptybee15]

This is so me! I hate the little stupid conversations people want to have at work. It's always the same thing. "How was your weekend" "what did you do" so many personal questions. I prefer to keep personal life and business life completely separate. There's this woman at my job that must say hello to me EVERY SINGLE FREAKING TIME we pass in the hallway. SERIOUSLY! I've always been socially awkward too, I don't feel like I should have to sit there and smile like an A**hole to appear friendly enough to have people approach me. I'm a decent person, that's good enough. I'm not really interested in other people though, myself. People come up to me just chattering away, and if I don't know them, I just want to scream "Can you please shut up and go tell someone who cares?!?" It's annoying on both ends.

Anyway, just letting you know that I can COMPLETELY relate, you are not alone.