Cant take a joke!

Hi, I have recently become aware that when people make jokes about me I get really offened even though I know its not personal. I cant seem to help it. Obviously, once people see that it offends me they tend to do it more because it provokes a reaction, especially guys that I work with. Some of these jokes are offensive such as talking about peoples mums, but other guys just seem to laugh it off or fire one back. But, it really gets under my skin. Also, if I feel someone criticises me for no real reason it also bothers me and I cant seem to take it.

Im just looking to find the psychological issues behind these sort of reactions?? Is it low self esteem?? Any help would be great. Thanks for reading peeps!!

Hey, Tony,

I know what you're talking about. Having lived my whole life with a similar propensity. Other people (nasty people) find it all too easy to find my weak spots and zap me there. I've never known how they do it, or why exactly I'm vulnerable in those particular spots. But recently, with T, I've found out. Underneath everything, I have a very, very negative view of myself. And the reason these other people can "zap" me is because underneath it all I think of myself as s**t. It turns out that the reason I think of myself as s**t is because of the way I was treated as an infant. Abuse and all that. That kind of thing leaves a lasting scar, in the form of an unconscious conviction that one is dirt, without value, hopeless, worth less than nothing. And then much later on these other people tune in to that kind of feeling and take advantage of it to make you miserable.

So the first thing you need to do (if you don't have a T and can't address the issue directly) is realize that you're a decent guy, certainly as decent as anyone else, and these jerks who torment you are sadists who would torment a baby, completely worthless, the lowest of all scum, and that they justify whatever you do to them in revenge. Not that you have to or should get violent, no. But you can ignore their provocations, and at the same time give them as much verbal s**t as you feel like, because they really do deserve it.

Hope this helps!

Ya i used to be able to take a joke, espeically when my husband picks on me jokingly. Now i flip out on him...

Thank you! Thats just the type of answer I was looking for. I will look into the things that you have mentioned!!