[katielee102]

Hey everyone I hope you are all well. I dont know if I am just getting my feelings off my chest, asking for advice or what!

Lately I find myself thinking about my family, most likely my mom and dad, then sometimes my brothers, etc. I worry about my parents getting older, they are bother turning 60 soon and I worry about if my mom is happy.

Background: I am the oldest of three. I have two younger brothers, one if in another state in the coast guard (only 3 hours) and the other was in California in the Marines and he just left for Afghanastan. I would like to say we are a very close family, but we arent that close, I mean we are closer than alot of families are and we love eachother very much, but i just feel like we (or maybe me?) has been able to open up that much. My mom has been depressed when we were younger because of the death of a new born (right after i was born) then years later her youngest brother and her dad. I also have had depression, i most likely to now.

My mom doesnt work anymore, she used to teach preschool but the management changed and she quit and never went for a new job. Anyway my father is traveling so much in the next few months that my mom will be home alone all the time, with the two dogs that she adores. I know she is only facebook alot and reads alot but she really doesnt have any friends to talk to (i think). I jsut feel sad. I want my mom to be happy and i know she is mad that my dad is traveling so much as she did tell me that , some is for work some is for fishing and hunting. They do go away in teh summer together, etc.

I am trying to go visit for a day on the weekends so that is nice. I jsut want my mom to know she is special and i dont want her to be depressed. I dont know that she is, but how could she not be if she is anything like me? We have never really talked about the depression in the family.

how do i stop worrying about her/them so much? I will be 33 next week and honeslty i spend my life worrying about everything I just want everyone to be happy and feel loved.

PS. SO SORRY ABOUT THE RAMBLING

[Elana05]

Hi katielee102,

My heart goes out to you. I know how hard it is. My mother suffers from depression too and has for a long time... It might be helpful to speak with her about it? Tell her you're concerned and that you would like to see her happy? You might even print out some symptoms of depression and show her where you are concerned. (From my own experience when talking with my parents it's helpful to have something official looking, with the name of a university or hospital on it). But aside from letting her know you care and that you are concerned, I'm afraid there isn't much you can do. I am around the same age that you are and I can tell you I have been consciously and subconsciously trying to "fix it" for both of my parents my entire life. (They both suffer from depression and addiction). But... The very best thing you can do is take care of yourself, for we are only responsible for ourselves. I have found a lot of help in this area from attending some CoDA meetings (a 12 step program). Not sure if it might be something you may find helpful. Sending many supportive thoughts your way.

Elana