[lastyearisblank]

Never mind... que sera sera, whatever will be will be.

[gma45]

Maybe you are just moving to fast for him! If it's working don't fix it! I Don't think people like to be pushed into saying something he is not ready for! Have patience.

[lastyearisblank]

Whatever, maybe it's too late... but I'm still young... I don't want to live my whole life wondering if the guy I'm with is as excited about me as I am about him. If he is not comfortable with BIG FEELINGS then it is really sad but maybe it is not fair to keep him on the hook either.

All of your quest for reassurance from him probably feels pretty smothering for him. The other message you are giving him is that you don't trust him. I say this because my husband has gone through phases of being very needy, and it absolutely drove me crazy and made me pretty angry also.

Different people have different relationship styles. Your boyfriend sounds a lot like me. He isn't terribly demonstrative. But that does NOT mean he doesn't care about you or that he is "lazy in love". He just has a different style and personality type than you. So, you really are trying to get him to behave in a way that is not natural to him. That can feel very pressuring and suffocating after awhile.

If you want this relationship to work, you are going to have to do some trusting and give him some space about this. You might sit down and have a discussion about what would be comfortable for both of you. That's going to take some compromise from both of you. What will work will probably have to be somewhere in the middle.

Can you deal with a little less reassurance than you desire? Can you try to develop a trust in his feelings? Can you back off enough to give him some breathing room?

Those are things you really need to consider in deciding whether this relationship will work for you. This is probably also a really good topic for work in therapy as you seem to indicate this is a pattern for you.

[lastyearisblank]

Thank you gma and farmergirl.... a lot to think about... I don't want to be unfair to my guy either. Yes I am being intense. It is because I like him so much (and trust!!!!!! I definitely trust him enough to share this stuff with him, and I try to trust his answers.... I think...). If it doesn't feel positive to him, to get a lot of affection and compliments and have a partner who is into that stuff... maybe we are not compatable. I will keep trying to give him space though (and... hopefully.. encourage him to chime in, at some point, about what he actually personally wants!) because so far this relationship is worth it!!!!!

Thanks again!!!!!!!!!