[carla37]

so abused. with no compassion. why should i even seek compassion from him if i no my partner cant give it to me. its simple just a partner who shows they care. I need a place to speakout. Im holding so much in and the repression is starting to make me nuts.. dulled out, and life less. i went a week feeling canitonic and fought it. he has all the power, yesterday I got called a ***** twice, and well this abuse is real and painfull . i watched him beat the crap out of the dog, told him when i woke up in the mornimg i was in pain yet he still grabed me and through me around like a rag doll. i have no friends, my family gone, lost my job because of him, im in his cycle and im numb...

[MIABroken]

Originally Posted by carla37

so abused. with no compassion. why should i even seek compassion from him if i no my partner cant give it to me. its simple just a partner who shows they care. I need a place to speakout. Im holding so much in and the repression is starting to make me nuts.. dulled out, and life less. i went a week feeling canitonic and fought it. he has all the power, yesterday I got called a ***** twice, and well this abuse is real and painfull . i watched him beat the crap out of the dog, told him when i woke up in the mornimg i was in pain yet he still grabed me and through me around like a rag doll. i have no friends, my family gone, lost my job because of him, im in his cycle and im numb...

I cant really relate to the abuse but I feel I can help a bit with finding compassion. My ex had no compassion or feelings. It wasn't her fault she has a lot of issues. I would take something that your interested in and focus on that. Example I play music. so as much as I can I get out and play open mic nights when im not with my band. It took a couple months but now I am a regular at this one open mic and have found a few friends that I am getting to know there. So whether its pottery, knitting, music, painting. I would find a class around your area that your interested in, and who knows maybe you can find a few friends out of it that share your interest. I don't have many friends anymore so when I got out of my relationship I came out the other side and found out all of my friends have moved on with their lifes. (married, moved away, etc) So you have to be proactive no matter how much you dont want to be, it might take some time but get out there and do something you want to do and are interested in, it will get better!
I wish you luck in your relationship!

[madisgram]

your post reminded me of my exhusband's behavior. i hope this info is helpful. no one has the right to be abusive to another. it's not acceptable.you may want to post in Survivors of Abuse forum also. many members can offer you support and suggest how they broke free from the abuse.

Symptoms of emotional abuse. An abusive partner will railroad discussions, so that you don't have time to think about what's right and what's wrong in their behavior.
Take a moment to consider these questions. Your partner might have behaved as though these things were okay, even though it's obvious that they aren't okay...:
Do you feel that you can't discuss with your partner what is bothering you?
Does your partner frequently criticize you, humiliate you, or undermine your self-esteem?
Does your partner ridicule you for expressing yourself?
Does your partner isolate you from friends, family or groups? ETC. http://www.lilaclane.com/relationships/emotional-abuse/

Abusers use a variety of tactics to manipulate you and exert their power:

• Dominance – Abusive individuals need to feel in charge of the relationship. They will make decisions for you and the family, tell you what to do, and expect you to obey without question. Your abuser may treat you like a servant, child, or even as his or her possession.
• Humiliation – An abuser will do everything he or she can to make you feel bad about yourself or defective in some way. After all, if you believe you're worthless and that no one else will want you, you're less likely to leave. Insults, name-calling, shaming, and public ... http://helpguide.org/mental/domestic...es_effects.htm

[carla37]

no my friend I can go no were... I am keeping up with some hobbies. but well your respomse and story I greatly apprciate.

[carla37]

Madigram,, thank you for your response. I will do. I figure this just might give me the streghth im gonna need... I cant believe I am here in this position, I heard about it readf about it, but never thought possiable. just responding and getting a response has made me feel so much better... thanks again