unsure and insecure- please help

i didnt know where else to go to for advice, and im not sure ill be able to explain things correctly but here we go...

my and my bf have been seeing each other for a year. about 3 months into our relationship, i kissed another guy. me and my bf took this transgression very seriously, and he said he forgave me and took me back.

then i did it again. we had a small break, but it turned out as he put it, "we were never apart"...

well if thats true, and we were always together, that means he had another valentine, his ex gf. she posted something on his fb that said essentially said "be mine!" and he said yes. even though he refused to acknowledge valentines day to me.

he started growing... distant i guess. in person he was slightly less affectionate then before i cheated the first time, but it was his behavior everywhere else that concerned me. he would go on fb and comment on other girls pictures saying things "wow!!! so hot!!" and "you have kissable lips" and even, on a picture of 2 girls he knows, "yummy! mommy can i have two?" (thats verbatim). or he even went so far as to comment on a pic of a guy and a girl hes "in love with" (he says thats just a joke, but its a joke he makes every time he sees her, "the most beautiful girl in the world") and said "back off buddy that girl is mine!! she is mine for as long as i want her and only when im through with her can you have the dried up remains!"

all the while he was completely ignoring me on fb. i got no sexy comments or wall posts or even statuses(that he hid) saying he missed me(another thing he did to other girls) or anything like that.

the fb thing finally culminated in me going through his messages and finding out that he had been messaging total strangers, telling them how beautiful and sexy they were. they were all young, white or mexican females who either cheered, played volleyball, or soccer. this is important because that happens to be the exact kind of girl he admits drives him crazy.

when i told him about those messages he was very sorry and he said he stopped doing it.

all the while he was doing this though, he was being a sweetheart to me.

that was about 3 or 4 months ago. a couple of months after that happened i went though his fb again. same kind of stuff. less though.

he got mad and blocked me from his account. now, hes moved out of his old apartment and into a new one about half a mile away. i am under no circumstances, allowed over there. he says its because his roommates smoke so much weed, but idc about that. he rarely (about once a week, maybe, comes over to my place). his best friends gf is allowed over there as much as she wants. her name is amber, and my bf is mark. amber and mark spend a lot of time together. i know for a fact that their not cheating, but it makes me uncomfortable to know that this random girl sees my bf more than i do. when i try to talk to him about it, he says they dont see each other all that much, which as far as im concerned, means he spends way less time with me than i thought. mark, amber, and her bf are all part of a school team, they get to spend every weekend together on long road trips.

i get nervous that he likes her more than me, or any girl for that matter. i get extremely jealous and i make him mad, and in his mind, since because i harp on him so much, its my problem. i just dont know what to do. he assures me he loves me and that hes stopped the fb thing, but hes lied to me before. and it doesnt seem like he acts like he loves me...

will some one please help? i feel so unwanted by him. i feel like maybe hes only keeping me around to punish me for cheating.

i want to stress that in person, when we arent surrounded by people he knows, hes a sweetheart. thats why im so confused, i cant imagine it would be easy to be so sweet and gentle to some one you werent interested in

am i missing something?? am i over reacting? i dont expect him to just get over me cheating, but does he have to make me feel so bad sop long after it happened??

Hello, krazi_kristi. I think your friend has given you plenty of reasons not to trust him. Kissing those guys did not help, but your friend is using it to your detriment. Are you sure you want to deal with all this drama and subterfuge?

Time to move on child. This guy is not relationship material.

I hate to say this but....I will....Sounds like he is just keeping you around to torment you, kinda like make you pay! because he know how bad you feel about what you did, and maybe he did get hurt by it, its still no reason to treat you badly forever. What is done is done. Time to move on and if he can't treat you better, it's time to find someone who will!

While you may have made a mistake kissing the other guy, that in no way gives him any right to treat you like this. Obviously you still love him and are trying to keep the relationship going while he is doing very little. Honestly, this is not the type of guy you want to be in a long term relationship with, especially if you can't trust him. I know it will be tough, but I recommend ending things with this guy. Stay strong.

It really doesn't sound like either one of you fully respects the other. Not relationship material, at all. Move on.

i think this relationship has ended awhile ago. even if u tried to work things out too much has happened for things to be the same again. and i think he's pulling the karma card on you. so just move on let it be