[LostGurl]

Hi Everybody,
I just signed up here. I need to talk to somebody about this issue. The problem of finding mate. I'm tired of dating really. It looks like I'm just one loser who can't find a partner
I go on dates, online dating, regular dating, but nothing works, nothing is stable.
The last date was couple of weeks ago with a guy from online dating and the date went really well....we were chatting, talking and laughing for around four hours....He went on and on how beautiful I am....Even at the end when I was saying good bye to him....Again, he emphasized that I look so pretty and he wants to see me again!
Then the whole week passed and he didn't get in touch with me....On the Friday I texted him that I had a great time with him....10 hours later he texted me that he had a great time with me and then he said "we should get together sometimes."....I got so pissed and I didn't reply him back....
I'm just wondering why they play game? and how many more years I have to keep looking? Is there anything wrong with me? then how should I fix it?
I really feel lonely and I want to have family of my own....I'm turning 40 in few years....I want to have baby....
Thanks everybody for reading my story....

[Brometheus]

"I want to have family of my own....I'm turning 40 in few years....I want to have baby....".. do you tell them that on the first date?.. most guys will run away after hearing that. but as far as playing games.. "we should get together sometime".. that guy just wants to get laid but too lazy to make an effort. he is basically keeping you on the sidelines until one of his dates go bad. this is the dating scene, especially if youre going for the wrong guys.

[LostGurl]

Originally Posted by Brometheus

"I want to have family of my own....I'm turning 40 in few years....I want to have baby....".. do you tell them that on the first date?.. most guys will run away after hearing that. but as far as playing games.. "we should get together sometime".. that guy just wants to get laid but too lazy to make an effort. he is basically keeping you on the sidelines until one of his dates go bad. this is the dating scene, especially if youre going for the wrong guys.

Thanks Brometheus for your reply....of course, I won't tell guys in the first date or even after few dates all the stuff that are in my mind and I play it cool...I think I'm smarter than playing so dumb
In the other hand, when I go for a date I don't feel having the whole family thingy with the guy that I just met....I don't have that feeling for the guy in a first date....but my question is why I'm meeting all these losers....
Yes, that guy is a total *** and probably he figured out I won't play his dirty game....I was insulted by him telling me he wants to see me sometime....I though "go to hell, you wish to see me"....
Any how, I think a person has to be very lucky to find that romance....

[FooZe]

Hi LostGurl, welcome to Psych Central!

I'm not a dating enthusiast, myself. Very little of what I've done has been for the purpose first of meeting people. Almost all the people I've met, I've met while just doing whatever I was doing: working, volunteering, recreating... even participating online.

I like the idea of getting to know someone in their own element, as it were, when they're focusing more on whatever they're doing there than on how they might appear to me. I also feel much more at home just doing whatever I'm doing in collaboration with others than, for instance, calculating what kind of image I want to project and how well I'm projecting it.

I'm thinking that the more you want to find a mate (and the more obvious you make it that that's what you're doing), the more your prospective mates are going to make allowances for what you might be doing (or avoiding doing) just to impress them. I'd recommend doing stuff that you want to be doing anyhow, letting your prospective mates find you, and letting them think it was their idea.

[Inedible]

Texting really isn't the best way to have a serious conversation.

[LostGurl]

Originally Posted by FooZe

Hi LostGurl, welcome to Psych Central!

I'm not a dating enthusiast, myself. Very little of what I've done has been for the purpose first of meeting people. Almost all the people I've met, I've met while just doing whatever I was doing: working, volunteering, recreating... even participating online.

I like the idea of getting to know someone in their own element, as it were, when they're focusing more on whatever they're doing there than on how they might appear to me. I also feel much more at home just doing whatever I'm doing in collaboration with others than, for instance, calculating what kind of image I want to project and how well I'm projecting it.

I'm thinking that the more you want to find a mate (and the more obvious you make it that that's what you're doing), the more your prospective mates are going to make allowances for what you might be doing (or avoiding doing) just to impress them. I'd recommend doing stuff that you want to be doing anyhow, letting your prospective mates find you, and letting them think it was their idea.

Thanks FooZe....I was just briefly on the online dating....I'm very active person and I'm doing lots of activities but it looks like women are out there more than guys...so that's my main problem...
and I don't see any problem looking for a mate at all...It's not that I'm thinking about it all the time, but when I get home and I'm alone, I don't like it...and I miss being in love...I think lots of single people have the same problem...I don't know how old you are, but I used to be like you....and I wasted so much of my time not being serious....now I'm getting older and it's harder to find a mate!

[OurLadysTears]

I can relate in a sense. I've been in a few long term relationships that failed because of commitment issues on their end. I hate when a person strings you along and makes you believe that there is going to be more sustenance in the relationship, date, etc. when in fact they have no intention of creating anything beyond a short term or long term booty call, date, etc. Very frustrating.