[orangeshirt]

Ok.. I just got married like 4 months ago. My husband knows I have problems but does not want to face it. When I tell him about my ADD and Depression and anxiety, he says I am fine and nothing is wrong. But we constantly get into arguements. He says I don't listen to him and interrupt him all the time, I tell him I do not mean to and it is a symptom of ADD. Then he will say other things about how I keep dwelling on the past, which comes my depression and anxiety. I tell him these things and he get even angrier. I tell him I am not trying to make excuses but it seems that it is not getting any better. There were two times within the 4 months that he has packed his bags and threatened to leave,,, and since then, I dont feel stable or secrure in our marriage and he thinks I should just get over it because he says he will not threaten to leave me again... (but that is what he said the first time he packed his bags)... I tell him we need counseling but he refuses.... I am so hurt and it seems no matter how hard I try, i just can't get over the sight of the bedroom with his bags packed and how he said he wad leaving.. I hate this feeling and since our relationship is not secure (at least I dont think it is), the meds that I am taking is not working as well as they use to when I was not under so much stress and fear. I dont know if I should ask my doc to raise my meds or just go see a counselor without him.. but then again we dont have money for that and he will be very upset if I go.. So i dont know what to do...

[Perna]

We can only work with ourselves. If you do interrupt your husband and/or do not like to argue with him, you can only help yourself learn not to do that. If you are afraid he is going to pack and leave, he may or he may not, no way to tell but you have to deal with that within yourself, either way.

Are you seeing a counselor at all or just on meds? If you cannot or do not wish to afford a therapist, I would go to the library and get a book or two on working with your ADD, or anxiety, or depression on your own and see what you could change about your own feelings and actions so you are more comfortable and feel more secure. No one else can give you self esteem or security, that is our own job to do for ourselves.

[lad007]

I was married almost 2 years ago, and the first year was hard. I am bipolar with PTSD and I found myself trying to explain things, discuss it with my husband, and that doesn't work well. Don't find this harsh, but your husband is not your therapist, or your pdoc. Don't try to explain your issues with him, he obviously doesn't get it, or think anything major is wrong. So, if you are feeling really bad, let him know, but other wise focus on making your marriage a partnership and try to meet some of his needs. Be responsible for your own mental health.
And yes, I would call the pdoc and let them know you are having a lot of anxiety being newly married and see if they can help. Good luck to you.

[orangeshirt]

thanks to both of u... i appreciate ur honesty and being able to tell me straight up... i need stuff straight forward... i do need to take care of my own mental health... and i need to get some books to help myself with my issues... do u guys suggest any books!!... i would really like suggestions on it...i am on meds... but i really need to see a doctor who is not a family doc and a realy mental health doc,... ok,,, i hope u guys reply,, thanks.. os