[salukigirl]

I am really having a hard time figuring out my bf's true intentions. There have been many instances where he has dropped everything to come to my side. He was basically my butler (at his request) after my knee surgery and tries to comfort me during really bad cramps (I have a history of ruptured ovarian cysts). Then other times it feels like he couldn't give two craps about my feelings.

I am giving my first talk ever at our national meeting (around 3,000 people) in a week. I am terrified out of my mind! I never want to practice in front of him bc I am embarrassed. I really care about his opinion and so I'm scared to practice my presentations in front of him. I hate small crowds anyways but a single person terrifies me - especially him.

So he asks me today to practice it and I said I didn't want to and he basically went off saying all he is trying to do is help and getting angry telling me I don't care about his opinion and THAT'S why I don't want to. Not once did he ever ask WHY I didn't want to or how doing the talk makes ME feel. I feel like he is only thinking of himself. But then he turns around and does something the complete opposite! Why is he so friggen unpredictable?!

[alliwantislove]

mayb hes bipolar lol! explain that u dont feel comfortable practicing infront of him and that you dont want to b embarrassed. he probably took it the wrong way and kinda got hurt. never assume always communicate. why should he ask u why u dont want to or how it makes u feel...tell him. sometimes you gotta stop expecting things from people and just ask them and be upfront about things.

in all it seems like hes a good person. good luck!

[salukigirl]

I did tell him and he still stayed on the defensive.

[alwaysrejoice]

Wish I could help you out, but I don't get men either. I also have ovarian cyst problems, I can relate to that.

[beetleinthebox]

i am a female and i've been in this situation, except it was on the other side... in my last relationship i acted just like your boyfriend and everything just eventually fell apart. however my reasons for my behavior were never consistent and it was for this reason that my ex-boyfriend made me see a psychiatrist. i was diagnosed with depression. while i don't want to jump to any ideas about your boyfriend possibly having an illness, maybe there is a way of discussing this issue with him without causing a fight. I agree with "alliwantislove." putting it aside will only make you angrier every time he doesn't support you again. maybe you can write the different situations down, and analyze them for yourself. also to keep them as proof and to boost your morale when you finally talk about them to him, so he can't stay on the defensive all the time. it seems like he is trying to do right by you and he loves you, but he probably also has his own issues going on, and he can't read your mind so you have to communicate how you feel. good luck! and i hope that talk you gave went well!

[salukigirl]

I have thought for a while that he may be bipolar. He goes from down on himself and thinking he doesn't do anything right to these high expectations and thinking he is going to do something very big. His friend works in Japan for 3 months at a time and asked him if he would ever want to do a trip. His mind was 6 months ahead planning all this stuff and he didn't even know if it would happen. Then a week later he is just laying on the couch all day with no motivation.