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  #1  
Old Nov 07, 2011, 03:17 PM
Paroxysm Paroxysm is offline
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My long-term relationship just ended last night after things escalated into the physical and I'm hurting so bad. I feel so sick. I know it's not good for either of us but he's been my world for the past few years and I don't know how to let him go.

I haven't been in therapy for a few months but I've been trying to get in again. It's going to take some time that I just can't afford right now.

He won't talk to me, he's left, and I don't know what to do. I don't know when he'll be back, I know he'll probably want to get his belongings.

We've separated here and there before and it's the same feelings every time, except this time, I think it is over. How can it come back from this.

I don't even think it's possible for me to have a healthy relationship with anyone - but maybe even selfishly I wanted to spend my life with him.

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  #2  
Old Nov 08, 2011, 03:07 AM
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CantExplain CantExplain is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2011
Location: New Zealand
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Paroxysm View Post
My long-term relationship just ended last night after things escalated into the physical and I'm hurting so bad. I feel so sick. I know it's not good for either of us but he's been my world for the past few years and I don't know how to let him go.

I haven't been in therapy for a few months but I've been trying to get in again. It's going to take some time that I just can't afford right now.

He won't talk to me, he's left, and I don't know what to do. I don't know when he'll be back, I know he'll probably want to get his belongings.

We've separated here and there before and it's the same feelings every time, except this time, I think it is over. How can it come back from this.

I don't even think it's possible for me to have a healthy relationship with anyone - but maybe even selfishly I wanted to spend my life with him.
It is common - even normal - for abused partners to feel guilty and worthless. But lets not forget who hit who.

Yes, I think therapy will help.
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  #3  
Old Nov 08, 2011, 03:15 AM
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alwaysrejoice alwaysrejoice is offline
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Member Since: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,279
Get his stuff out of there asap. Don't let him use his stuff being at your place as a reason to keep coming back and making your life miserable.
  #4  
Old Nov 08, 2011, 04:15 PM
alliwantislove alliwantislove is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2011
Location: new jersey
Posts: 59
its normal to feel empty after a break up. take sometime to urself and recoop. are you in love with him or do u just care for him? sometimes love is confused with being used to the person and him being so part of ur daily routine you dont know how to act or how u will continue with out him. give the seperation some tiime let things cool down and then go from there. agreed with cantexplain...who hit who and why?
  #5  
Old Nov 08, 2011, 07:25 PM
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CantExplain CantExplain is offline
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Originally Posted by alwaysrejoice View Post
Get his stuff out of there asap. Don't let him use his stuff being at your place as a reason to keep coming back and making your life miserable.
AR is quite right: safety first. Long term plans can wait.

Some women go so far as to dump their partner's stuff on the front lawn. It sends a very clear message: "Take you stuff away or watch it rot. I don't care which. But it's not coming back inside and neither are you." It also sends a very clear message to the neighbours, which might not be what you want.

Other precautions: get a sister or equivalent to move in with you and change the locks.
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  #6  
Old Nov 08, 2011, 07:30 PM
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alwaysrejoice alwaysrejoice is offline
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Member Since: Sep 2011
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I have thrown out belongings outside my apartment once. He didn't get it he had to leave NOW. That made the point loud and clear.
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