[maverick]

I got out of a 5 year relationship about 8 months ago. I just started dating someone new. She is considerably younger than me (I'm embarrassed to say how much, but she seems to like me). She is finishing her graduate degree at Stanford. She is also a national caliber runner. I wrote a song for her after 3 dates; put it on CD and gave it to her. She loved it, and in general, things are going well. But, I don't do always feel comfortable with someone who I really like and respect, I get very sensitive to possible rejection. I'm delaying calling her today. I think I'd like to have her call me, but usually, I seem to initiate things. I'm just rambling here instead of calling her. The problem is, it is too new to know where things stand; we've gone out about 6-7 times. She is always very cool with me, but I'm the type of guy who always ends up with a woman who makes it obvious that she likes me. I am a good-looking (according to others) smart guy who graduated from U.C. Berkeley, but was diagnosed a few years ago with ADHD. I seem to over-analyze things and need a lot of re-assurance that I am totally "wanted". I think it's because I grew up with an emotionally distant mom. I never grew up with my dad, who is an alcoholic.

I'm not sure I even have a specific question.... just posting my thoughts. I hope everyone here is doing well (Maybe I'll post the lyrics of my song in the "creative" section). I think I'm slightly depressed.

[Lexicon78]

I can totally relate. My mom was very distant, also. So I also need a lot of reassurance that I am loved, wanted, needed, etc. In the past I've had a hard time finding someone who can meet my emotional needs. Right now I'm with someone who somewhat meets those needs. I mean he's always telling me how much he loves me all the time, how important I am to him, how much I am wanted and needed. All the things that I so desperately have needed all my life. The only problem is he can sometimes be emotionally abusive. I guess you could say I'm staying because I'm getting something out of it...something that I've never had before. I guess that's why I put up with all of his crap.

[maverick]

Thanks for your response! "Emotionally abusive" doesn't sound so good. In the end it's actions that always speak louder than words, but I would love for this woman I'm involved with to express some affectionate dialogue. It's a little too new still, I think.

I hope the "emotional abuse" part goes away!!

[JustBen]

I'd give her a call, maverick, and not wait for her to call you. These kinds of things can vary from person to person, but I think it's customary for the guy to take the lead in calling and pouring on the "adoration" I'd say that if she's continuing to date you, she likes you.

[maverick]

Hmmm, difficult, but ok, I'll send her an e-mail tomorrow and take it from there. I guess I could play the opposite "strategy" and send her a small token of "romantic affection" and see what response I get...

I think I've been out of the game too long (having been in a long-term relationship, I'm not used to all the emotional unknowns with the whole "dating" scene. It's a lot of UPS and DOWNS, depending on the day).

.....call her......don't waste time wondering.....life is way too short....

[maverick]

OK, life does go by fast... left a message. Thanks for the support/concern!!!