[cjayroyal]

So I've been in my current relationship for a little over a year. I lived with he and his sister for the first couple months of our relationship and then we moved together when he took a different job.

Everything was good and wonderful, I was 100% sure this was the guy I was going to marry and spend the rest of my life with.

<Enter> co-worker, we'll call him "Bob."

I met Bob a few months ago when I switched jobs. It started out as an innocent friendship and has progressed into a total mind take-over. I'm excited when I get to see him at work or talk to him on the phone or text him all the time. We hang out outside of work as well. I had intentions of Bob meeting my boyfriend but it hasn't happened yet and would almost be awkward now because of the way I feel about Bob. There was an incident where Bob and I were going to meet up for coffee after work and I texted my boyfriend to see if he would mind. He said he was in the area so he could come too! My first thought was oh great. Bob ended up having an issue where he couldn't come anyway but what floored me was how I felt about the situation. I was more sad that I wasn't going to see Bob that evening than happy to see my boyfriend.

My feelings for my boyfriend have changed since I met Bob as well. My boyfriend has brought up on multiple occassions lately that I seem distant and that I'm just going through the motions. He's tried to be more affectionate lately and it just seems irritating to me now. I have no interest in sex anymore with him either. One time in the past month.

I don't know what's going on and I just need someone to talk to about all of this.

[Leed]

Hi ~ It sounds to me like your boyfriend ISN'T "the one" -- if he was, you wouldn't have gotten so 'smitten' with this other guy. It's good you found it out now, instead of after you got married!

Even if you and Bob don't continue the relationship, I'd say goodbye to the boyfriend and keep looking. Obviously it isn't right, or you wouldn't have fallen for Bob. So let the boyfriend down gently, and move on. You'll be glad you did. God bless & take care. Hugs, Lee

[Yoda]

You need to end the relationship with your BF and be living separate before you begin a relationship with Bob. How would your BF take it if you told him you want to separate for awhile? How well do you really know Bob?

[crab76]

I had a very similar thing happen to me years ago. BUT I actually ended up cheating with the co-worker. Oops! I don't recommend letting it get that far. Once that happened I knew I had to end my relationship with my BF. And it was the BEST decision I could have made.

I was just like you... In love and thinking I'd be with him forever. But my feelings for my co-worker were so powerful. And my feelings for my BF dwindled until he was just irritating me. I didn't want him to touch me. It was pretty bad.

When I was going thru it it seemed like the end of the world...But after it was all said and done.... I knew it was right. I have never looked back on that relationship with regret.

And btw... the relationship with the co-worker didn't last either. I dumped him after a few months. lol