I hate hearing my parents argue. It's not really them argue, my mum basically shouts at my dad. This dinner time I heard my mum really shouting at my dad and telling him to leave us alone. My dad hasn't done anything wrong. The only problem my mum has with dad is the alcohol. But... my dad isn't abusive. He's a lovely father. My mum told my dad to hang himself and when my dad came home from work. My mum got all of his paper work and books which he needs for tutoring and threw it on a chair and called it "sh&t". But it's not... it's for tutoring. now... my mum's going mental. She broke up something and says... this is how much I hate you to my dad. I'm kinda shaking and I wish this stopped.

[lynn P.]

(((happycheeks))) - I understand how this must be so upsetting for you to hear this. From this and your other posts - has your mom considered getting some help for her stress and anger problem? Does your dad ever stick up for himself. These are horrible things to say to him. She needs to learn how to fight fairly instead of blowing up. She needs some mental help and I hope its gets better for your family.

Originally Posted by lynn P.

(((happycheeks))) - I understand how this must be so upsetting for you to hear this. From this and your other posts - has your mom considered getting some help for her stress and anger problem? Does your dad ever stick up for himself. These are horrible things to say to him. She needs to learn how to fight fairly instead of blowing up. She needs some mental help and I hope its gets better for your family.

She hasn't considered getting help. She truly does need help. My dad doesn't stick up for himself. I feel sorry for him.

(((((happycheeks)))))

I am sorry HP, Can you talk to your mum and tell her how upset this makes you feel?

Originally Posted by Buttercup.

(((((happycheeks)))))

I am sorry HP, Can you talk to your mum and tell her how upset this makes you feel?

I don't think I can in the state she is. I could try to but she would never listen to me.

[coldwutlulz]

I hope things get better between your parents. It's always painful to hear them fight. Isn't it?

Trying to talk to your mother doesn't seem like a bad idea. Even if you're afraid of her not listening, please, do try and talk to her. It might work out.

[lynn P.]

I wonder if you were to tape how she sounds and let her hear it....what do you think she would do?? Sometimes when people see and hear how they really look/sound they think before they act next time.

[tohelpafriend]

Originally Posted by happycheeks

I hate hearing my parents argue. It's not really them argue, my mum basically shouts at my dad. This dinner time I heard my mum really shouting at my dad and telling him to leave us alone. My dad hasn't done anything wrong. The only problem my mum has with dad is the alcohol. But... my dad isn't abusive. He's a lovely father. My mum told my dad to hang himself and when my dad came home from work. My mum got all of his paper work and books which he needs for tutoring and threw it on a chair and called it "sh&t". But it's not... it's for tutoring. now... my mum's going mental. She broke up something and says... this is how much I hate you to my dad. I'm kinda shaking and I wish this stopped.

(((((HCheeks))))))) - "he's a lovely father." I am glad you can stick up for him. It is sad to hear of arguments like that in front of kids, no matter what their age. Have they ever had a separation? No one should be abused and it sounds as if she has alot of anger; hope she can get some T so as not to disrupt the family life and of course, for herself. I hope the situation improves; have you ever lived away from home? Maybe some time away would help you until this blows over?

Originally Posted by coldwutlulz

I hope things get better between your parents. It's always painful to hear them fight. Isn't it?

Trying to talk to your mother doesn't seem like a bad idea. Even if you're afraid of her not listening, please, do try and talk to her. It might work out.

They don't fight. My mum mostly does the shouting while my dad is silent. I can't really talk to her as she won't listen.

Originally Posted by lynn P.

I wonder if you were to tape how she sounds and let her hear it....what do you think she would do?? Sometimes when people see and hear how they really look/sound they think before they act next time.

She would freak out I guess.

Originally Posted by tohelpafriend

(((((HCheeks))))))) - "he's a lovely father." I am glad you can stick up for him. It is sad to hear of arguments like that in front of kids, no matter what their age. Have they ever had a separation? No one should be abused and it sounds as if she has alot of anger; hope she can get some T so as not to disrupt the family life and of course, for herself. I hope the situation improves; have you ever lived away from home? Maybe some time away would help you until this blows over?

No they haven't had a separation. I can't live away as I hardly have money. I hope the situation does improve.

[coldwutlulz]

What I meant by fight is one or both parents shouting at eachother.

Gah! Hopefully your mom gets help on her anger.

Originally Posted by coldwutlulz

What I meant by fight is one or both parents shouting at eachother.

Gah! Hopefully your mom gets help on her anger.

I wish she could.

[TerryL]

Hi happycheeks--Yes we often tend to remember only the negative things we hear about ourselves. I wish it wasn't so. I do worry about the effects your mother's anger and abuse is having on you and your other family members. Do you have any adult that you trust who might be able to help you all? and have you tried therapy yet?

Originally Posted by TerryL

Hi happycheeks--Yes we often tend to remember only the negative things we hear about ourselves. I wish it wasn't so. I do worry about the effects your mother's anger and abuse is having on you and your other family members. Do you have any adult that you trust who might be able to help you all? and have you tried therapy yet?

I could send my auntie a email telling her about what has happened but apart from that and I do have my boyfriend to talk too but apart from them. I don't have anyone else. I did try therapy but I don't think I should go into it just because of my mother.

My mum apologised and she said she was stressed out because chairs were coming tomorrow or so. But there was no need to go mental and to be horrible to dad. She's a mad woman.

[TerryL]

Originally Posted by happycheeks

I could send my auntie a email telling her about what has happened but apart from that and I do have my boyfriend to talk too but apart from them. I don't have anyone else. I did try therapy but I don't think I should go into it just because of my mother.

Well, it's just that I read your post regarding your concern about how your mum was treating your sister, and now your father. All that anger might be affecting you and you might not even realize it. Still, you know your situation best and I will respect that. Just take care okay?

[eskielover]

The only problem my mum has with dad is the alcohol. But... my dad isn't abusive.

That can be a larger problem than you might realize in THEIR relationship between each other.....even if he's not abusive.....it can definitely cause some serious resentment on your mother's part.

I know as parents, we don't always let our children in on all the serious relationship problems that are going on but it doesn't stop the bad reaction that one parent can have because of those problems. Then sadly, some parents decide to stay together until the kids are out of the house but the yelling doesn't stop because the relationship problem usually is just getting worse & worse.

Your parents could use some good marriage counseling.....but I know in my marriage....that didn't help. Our problems were financial issues & my husband's lack of being willing to be responsible even though he held the same engineering career that I did. I know from the beginning of our marriage that we were always having disagreements about things that our daughter knew nothing about & it was impossible to hold back how I felt at times. My husband was a nice person & a good father.....but he was a horrible husband.....something my daughter couldn't possibly understand....& it wasn't something that I even felt was something she needed to understand because he was a good father & she didn't have to put up with the husband things that I did.

Even to this day after I finally left him, I still don't say anything that would let her know what a bad husband he really is.....except when I did mention the year he ignored the IRS about the back tax mistake he made. She still doesn't know that my anger was because he was too arrogant to ask for help & always thought he knew everything at the husband level.

What I'm trying to say is that there might be a lot of bad things going on in their marriage that has built up your mother's anger toward your father over the years & it's not easy to NOT react to even the littlest thing when the build up has been so great over the years.

I know how hard the yelling was on our daughter especially because there was no way of her knowing or understanding or that I even wanted her to know what a bad husband her dad was because he was a good father & for her that was all that was necessary for her to know. I know you are in a bad place with your mother yelling in that way, but I doubt that if your mother didn't have something seriously wrong going on with their marriage, she most likely wouldn't be acting the way she does toward your dad.