Very Depressed

First off thank you for taking the time to read this and, hopefully, reply to it. I'll try to keep it as brief as possible.

I'm a twenty year old male who is struggling with depression. This is caused by a number of things. Primarily I have been single my entire life and being in a relationship is something that truly matters to me not because of the physical nature of a relationship but because of the emotional connection one receives from it. Another primary cause would be due to the fact that my family beliefs and my own personal beliefs are beginning to diverge. This is a double edged sword because it at once severs a strong connection I've had with them over the years and also causes me to believe that life is ultimately pointless as I have been taught that this particular belief is life's sole purpose.

Secondarily I struggle to gain friendships. I seem to be far more serious and focused deeper issues than my "friends" who never invite me to anything although they hang out with each other frequently.

To further extenuate the problem I believe that the reason I have been so alone and lacking in relationships is because I am far too nice and giving. I am well aware that people tend to think more of themselves then they actually are, but I truly am a "good guy". I hold open doors, I don't swear, I almost always put others first and I always have an open ear for others problems. I am genuinely interested in the well being of others. It would seem as though this quality is not desirable among men in this society (America). My desire for a relationship is great but my desire to hold fast to my morals is also great (and there enters the beliefs problem with further confuses the issue).

While each individual problem might be bearable they have, combined, brought me to a very heavy low. I know that many people have lives far more difficult and dire than mine and this ironically only makes me feel worse as I am genuinely compassionate towards these people. I have been brought to what will hopefully be my lowest point. I have considered ending my life a few times but I know how much that would hurt my family. I do not consider myself to be in danger of actually doing it but I suppose that line is what separates the dead from the living.

I've many interests but primary among them is psychology. I would be most grateful if you could direct me towards studies, terminologies to look into, and self treatments that might alleviate the issue. I seem to be stuck in several double-binds and I am vaguely familiar that my framework of mind needs to shift somehow but I am unaware as to how it may be shifted. I do not ask you to give me a fish, but a net if you wouldn't mind that I may catch my own and that my solutions may increase with my predicaments as time progresses.

If you are unaware of many psychological terms your general advice would also be much appreciated.

Thank you much and my apologies for the length.

Sorry to hear things are going well.

It is fine to be more serious...I'm one of those types...I can feel isolated because I feel I don't fit in. My depressive symptoms leads me to do things that also isolates me from activities and friends. So my first thought is to work towards accepting yourself as a more serious kind of person. Second is to counteract your depressive symptoms. If your not getting some professional help, now would be a good time to seek that out. Guidance is really essential in beating the symptoms. You have found one of the best sites (psychcentral) to start gathering information.

I don't think you need studies or terminologies as much as you need to relax. If you want to make friends with other young people, drop the lecturing tone and chill. If you really want deep conversations of meaningful import, then join groups that focus on your interests; you will then find yourself with others who share at least some of your interests and be more likely to find people with similar intellect. Some young women in the United States are crude, crass and don't appreciate a gentleman; but there are still plenty of women who appreciate good manners. If all you find are young women who like bad characters, I think you are looking among the wrong kind of young women. You might find reading about Aspergers illuminating.

@Direction - Thank you for your reply.

@IceCreamKid - I appreciate your thoughts even though I was offended while reading them. I specifically stated that I was nice to everyone. Nowhere did I say I was lecturing and cold. While I can see how you might automatically assume that the problem resides within a superiority complex seeing as I talked very highly of myself I do not talk very highly of myself in real life and I am in fact very unsure of myself. I spoke of myself honestly here so that people reading and replying could understand where I was coming from and why I was so vexed. Most everyone that you asked about me who knew me would tell you I'm one of the friendliest guys they've ever met. No, I don't have a superiority complex. No, I don't have Aspergers. I don't need to relax that's what I've been trying for the past 20 years and it hasn't worked a bit.

The suggestion to join groups who focus on my interests is a good one. Psychology is my interest so here I am . I do not know where to find these groups closeby however.

Looking among the wrong kinds of women? These are the only kinds of women I can find in the area and activities around me unfortunately and I cannot move at the moment.

I didn't automatically assume anything and I said nothing about you being cold or having a superiority complex. I thought you wanted practical advice about getting along with young people in real life, and that is what I gave you. I didn't say you had Aspergers; I said I thought you might find reading about Aspergers illuminating, particularly with regard to tone of voice and social cues.

- implies a cold and callous attitude.

And you obviously implied that I might have aspergers to which I responded I do not have aspergers. I did not say that you said that I had asperbers. I simply replied to your implied suggestion that I might have it.

I now realize an even greater mistake that I made. Posting for social advice on a forum where people with social problems come and where people who live perfectly normal lives would probably never even search up. This mistake will be shortly remedied.

I can understand how this could be taken the wrong way...even if your not able to see it...I would say that the intent was to be helpful...sorry it didn't turn out that way while you read it.

Please don't base your opinion whether you should post again on your perception that one or two responses you feel where not helpful or tried to label you.

Jumping to conclusions seem to be why you are depressed and cannot make friends.
Most everyone here have issues and we all try hard to help one another.
Re read all the responses with an open mind and recognize the real problem.
You will continue to be tormented until you come off that high attitude. What a waste of time for you.
I hope you come to see the 'point'.