 |
| FAQ/Help |
| Calendar |
| Search |
 |
|
Forums Index
|
| Reply |
| Thread Tools | Display Modes |
|
|
Forums Index
|
| Reply |
| Thread Tools | Display Modes |
|
#1
Dec 12, 2011, 04:53 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
It seems to be an easy Q, but I don't know the answer. I get scared when my positive emotions towards my boyfriend feel "numb". In those times, I could swear that I really don't love my bf. Then I get a rush of positive emotions towards him.
I don't "get it"! Can anyone here explain this roller coaster ride to me? Is this normal in healthy romantic relationships, or is it unhealthy? Thank you!!
__________________
"Only in the darkness can you see the stars." - Martin Luther King Jr. "Forgive others not because they deserve forgiveness but because you deserve peace." - Author Unkown |
|
#2
Dec 12, 2011, 05:09 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
It's normal, I think.
Love is a decision and an action, not something that you "feel" all the time. I don't know anyone who has always looked at their spouse and thought "s/he's soooo attractive, s/he's perfect!!!"" It's just not possible in a relationship where two people are together through the good and bad to only experience positive emotions towards the other person.
__________________
Lyla Jean |
 notz
|
|
#3
Dec 12, 2011, 06:00 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
 I appreciate your insight.
__________________
"Only in the darkness can you see the stars." - Martin Luther King Jr. "Forgive others not because they deserve forgiveness but because you deserve peace." - Author Unkown |
|
#4
Dec 12, 2011, 06:20 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
My experience has been it's the exception rather than the rule that two people are going to be emotionally alike at all times! Even when it feels like it, it's not really possible. People are individuals - just that way.
It's natural to be different, yet alike and sometimes alike, but different. No guilt, no shame - just the way it is. Rejoice in the differences! It is indeed part of what makes the world go round.
__________________
 notz |
| shezbut
|
|
#5
Dec 13, 2011, 03:28 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I definitely understand what you're saying, Shez. In fact, I use the same word -- numb. I used to feel really guilty about it -- I didn't feel the love, but I knew it would return and that, yes, I do in fact love him. I knew it, just didn't feel it all the time. I eventually brought it up to my fiance because it was bothering me so much. Turns out, he felt the same way and understood what I was saying also. He always knows he loves me, he just doesn't feel it all the time -- especially lately since he's been depressed about his working situation. I think it's perfectly natural. I think it becomes problematic when people decide that losing all the feeling means it will never return and it's time to leave.
|
|
#6
Dec 13, 2011, 10:44 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Thank you RomanSunburn!
Nice to see that you know what I mean. Thank you for sharing your personal experience!
__________________
"Only in the darkness can you see the stars." - Martin Luther King Jr. "Forgive others not because they deserve forgiveness but because you deserve peace." - Author Unkown |
| RomanSunburn
|
| Reply |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
|
My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.
Linear Mode
