[lonelycm98]

I have some friends that are so nice and i love them and we are a perfect group. But the problem is they never talk to me. They say i am annoying which i rarely talk at all so i dont get that. Also every tIme they go out to eat and to the movies who do you think asks me to go..... NO ONE. I am a cheerleader and even in cheer no one talks to me. When i got my back-hand-spring no one told me good job but today at practice some other girl got hers and they all cheered and said great job and congradulated her. Do you see my point? No likes me maybe because they are insucure and im not or im short and skinny and they arent. I dont know but i come home every day and lay on my bed a cry. It really hurts but idont know what to do. HELP!?????

[Sloane]

B"H

hi lonely,

it sounds like you are feeling very isolated and somewhat depressed. also, you say that in your group of friends, they are all nice people who make a group. Yet, you go on to say they call you annoying and fail to invite you to events. which is it? because it cannot be that both statements are true. if they call you annoying and ignore you by failing to invite you to group events, how is it that they are nice people who along with you function as a great group? I am just trying to repeat what you said, so you can see where your comments contradict one another. also, you feel ignored in regards to your fellow cheerleaders' failure to support your accomplishments. I do see where you question whether or not they may be jealous of you for being skinny, short and seemingly very secure whereas they are not. it sounds like, for whatever reason, you are feeling alone and isolated. did something recently happen in your life that changed things? because, your need to come home and cry daily seem to be depression. how severe I cannot say from your post. I think you should talk to someone about how you are feeling. perhaps the school counselor if your parents are not an option. otherwise, you may decide you need to see a therapist to figure out why you feel this way. once you figure out why you feel this way, you will be more able to determine why you feel ignored by your friends and your cheer leading peers. I strongly suggest you speak to someone soon. Also, if you look in the phone book in the green or blue pages in front, there are numbers for crisis hotlines you can call to talk to someone from home while ou are feeling down. Sorry, but I do not know of a particular hotline for ou to call.

Any ways, I wish you well and send you my support. I hope you find the peace you are looking for . it is no fun feeling isolated and depressed. please do not prolong your suffering by keeping this to yourself. good luck. take care and be well.


Sloane

[Perna]

Hi, lonely, welcome to PsychCentral (PC).

It sounds like your not talking much is what could be causing you so much pain; the others cannot know you would like to be included unless you say so and join in in the conversation. Usually when a group decides to go out together, a couple people agree together through conversation and then others ask to "come along". If you hear about an event, you should just grab the person nearest to you that you know if going or was one of the instigators and ask if you can come along too.

We all have to "advertise" ourselves so we get noticed. Did you point out that you had just gotten your flip? Were you all excited and smiling and telling the others to "Look, I got my flip?" If we are in the "middle" of a group, it can be hard to be noticed; think of the "C" student versus the "A" or "F" student? We all know who the brainy ones are or the ones who skip, don't do the work, cause trouble in class? But the majority of us in the middle need to speak up to get noticed by the others like us.

I did not talk to people much either when I was your age and know that lots of people thought I was stuck up or aloof or any number of things I was not. It confused me too. But since I was "unknown" I was a bit scary to them, I could be anything? I needed to make myself known, my thoughts and opinions and wants, etc. or others cannot react to me and have any kind of relationship with me.