[dpadilla89]

my mom found out i "am". she flipped and i even told her, why did you bug me for 45 min about what i was talking about and what was bothering me if you didnt no what you were going to hear or not?! i know shes angry, mad and sad and depressed because its not what 'she' wanted, but...i think i would be alot happier, ya know?? yeah, i know its gona take time for her and all, but she ALWAYS says to me, be more mature...and says how shes being the better person or w/e. well, last night she made me feel so0o0o worthless and not mattering. it feels horrible, and still does. heh. i talked to her a little earier today and she said i was thinking about it and i want you out of your sisters' room ,im like..y? im not a pedifile!! shes like, your influence on her wont be good, etc.. im like..ughh..omfg. not fair, im getting treated like this. she has friends that are gay, and she has NO problem with them at all, or from the start. lol. i cant go live with my dad, hes stupid and he will NOT accept me if he end up knowing. he'll abbandon me ASAP. My stepfather will kick me out of my house. i know right off the bat he will, lol. where do i go then?? my mom then blames it on my new school cuz alot of people there appear and are bi or gay. BUT---i feel more confotable talking about and feeling more confotable in general with my choice. lol. but since i was little, i had these feelings too. heh. NOW--soon, i have fam. therapy with "her". heh. well, now we might not go cuz my brother has an appointment at 5:30pm and dont know if well be there in time for 6:45pm. i wana go, but i have a feeling my mom outta spite is gona tell "her" that i like her alot, etc..then my moms gona cry, and it will be sooo annoying...haha. in ALL seriousness, what am i gona do????

deb

[LMo]

argh... I see your dilemma!

I'm sorry that she's hurting you, although I'm sure you can see that she's just in shock and can't take the higher road. She's not going to kick you out or let your stepdad do it. If nothing else is working, just say "ok, I changed my mind - I'm not gay" until she's ready to deal with it. Do I really think you should deny it? No - you should be proud of who you are, and I have to say that I'm proud of YOU for being true to yourself. BUT, it'll get her off your back until she's calmed down.

Just an idea... I hope you can get in to the family therapist this evening.

[LMo]

By the way, I don't consider the above advice to be "good" advice... in general, I'd say it's bad advice. But, I have a lot of experience dealing with a parent being in denial and that's what has worked best for me. My dad knew I was lying, but he appreciated the room to breathe and when the time was right, it was easier to talk to him about it later, when he was ready.

hey there a positive most teens with younger sibs WANT their own rooms and now you will be getting one. cool. circustance behind it - mom not acceptace but if you show your mom you are grown up enough to know that making your own choices also comes with having to deal with the outcomes positives and negatives of that issue she will be able to process her own thoughts that much faster because right now she may be thinking too about the hard life those coming out or being out have to deal with in general in the society that right now is battling about gay and lesbian rights and marriage. If she sees you are ok with this and are coming to terms with it she can too. Enjoy that new bedroom I came from a big family and dreamed of having a room to call my own. and yes I know being gay isn't a choice - its the way a person is from birth but your mom may see it for a bit as a choice. the faster she sees that you are ok the faster she will be ok. I have relatives that are lesbians and have friends that are the process take time and they all made it through the coming out out process. take care.