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Old Dec 29, 2011, 06:55 PM
Adelissa Adelissa is offline
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Member Since: Dec 2011
Location: Bakersfield, CA
Posts: 63
Hi, I live with my brother father and am raising my niece. My mother died a year ago and I essentially took over her life. I have been trying to figure out what is wrong with me and what my issues are and the bottom line is I am exhausted, unloved, unappreciated, and just out of steam. I don't know how to feel normal because I am not treated normally. I need hugs, words of affirmation, and the right to take a nap once in a while. I am a cancer survivor but I have been sick a lot these past 4 months and am worried it might be back and I am terrified of being the weak one in this family who expect me to keep things going and do everything. Not sure if there is a solution right now but I at least stated the problem, which I hear is always the first step.
__________________
on 450 mg welbutrin, 50 mg lamictal, 2 mg Klonopin.
Clinical depression, and generalized anxiety disorder. Wishing I could share my brain with someone else lately because there is just too much in there!
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  #2  
Old Dec 29, 2011, 08:32 PM
Caretaker Leo's Avatar
Caretaker Leo Caretaker Leo is offline
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Member Since: Mar 2011
Location: US
Posts: 1,019
(((((hugs)))))

But, do you have to take over your mother's life? I understand stepping in and helping family keep going - but you do deserve to live your own life and pursue your dreams and goals.

Any chance someone else can step in and take over some of the chores/responsibilities?

Knowing depression myself, I also know that there are times when I have to say "No" and let others figure out how to take care of the needs of others. You are out of steam, and you need to take a break and take care of our own needs.

I wish you the best.
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Never look down on anybody, unless you are helping them up.
Thanks for this!
Open Eyes
  #3  
Old Dec 29, 2011, 11:18 PM
Adelissa Adelissa is offline
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Member Since: Dec 2011
Location: Bakersfield, CA
Posts: 63
well, I am depressed so I often don't really want a life beyond just being at least for now. My brother has stepped up a lot out of necessity because I do have to say no more, but then I find myself worrying he is doing it wrong but try not to be overly critical or he won't help. I just kind of need a whole bunch of me time. Also I find out if my cancer is back next week as I have had some symptoms, I hate to say it but a tiny part of me hopes it is back just because it feels like it might validate me being a couch potato lately because I feel so guilty for being that way.
__________________
on 450 mg welbutrin, 50 mg lamictal, 2 mg Klonopin.
Clinical depression, and generalized anxiety disorder. Wishing I could share my brain with someone else lately because there is just too much in there!
Hugs from:
roads
  #4  
Old Dec 30, 2011, 01:40 PM
sandworm's Avatar
sandworm sandworm is offline
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Member Since: Jul 2011
Location: California, grateful American
Posts: 307
Quote:
Originally Posted by Adelissa View Post
well, I am depressed so I often don't really want a life beyond just being at least for now. My brother has stepped up a lot out of necessity because I do have to say no more, but then I find myself worrying he is doing it wrong but try not to be overly critical or he won't help. I just kind of need a whole bunch of me time. Also I find out if my cancer is back next week as I have had some symptoms, I hate to say it but a tiny part of me hopes it is back just because it feels like it might validate me being a couch potato lately because I feel so guilty for being that way.

If 'he' cooks and the food is edible and nothing rottens and kills or makes someone deathly ill, and the clothes do not get washed with red shirt or
socks and makes every fabric a lovely girly pink . .. .. you will all do okay.
Other families have survived worse (points to self), I can say this is
probably true.
Hugs from:
Adelissa
Thanks for this!
Adelissa
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