dying for answers

My mother is bipolar.
She quit her meds around a year ago.
Sadly she also started them around a year ago.
She's not doing that bad at the moment but she's a ticking time bomb.
I feel like my whole life I've been her mother.
How do I help her now that she's decided she doesn't need her meds?

I don't really see where there's a whole lot you can do, since she's already decided she doesn't need help. The only thing I can think of is to have a talk with her doctor and see if HE can suggest anything. I imagine you feel like you're walking on egg shells all the time --- and I'm sure that's not pleasant.

See what her doc has to say. I wish you the very best. Take care & God bless. Hugs, Lee

I completely agree with Lee - you can't force her to take her meds unless she is on a treatment order. Have you tried talking to her about your concerns and how you are feeling? Maybe she hasn't thought about or noticed the changes. I know sometimes when I am unwell (or becoming unwell) I don't always notice and need someone else to point out the signs.

You can always talk to her doctor as well to let them know and they can try to talk to her about it.

I have not lived with her sense I was 12.
She wasn't exactly Mom of the year. But I am the only child she has who has not given up on her.
I can't stand to sit back and watch her suffer, yet I can't force her to do something she doesn't want to do.
I wont talk to her doctor, the reason she quit her meds is because she was HIGHLY over medicated.
When she quit she had a breakdown, I got her through it the best I could.
When I try to talk to her about it she denies she even has a problem and says the doctors are wrong blah blah.
Should I try to find her a different doctor?

Thank you.

I'd try to find her a different doctor if you can... but also, you need to not blame yourself for her condition.

I do blame myself a lot because I feel like I've been her crutch for so long that I have become an enabler (first time I've ever admitted that). Her condition isn't as bad as I allow it to be. :/
I'm wondering if I find her a new doctor and maybe take a step back she will take a stronger hold on her life. But I'm also terrified it will backfire.

At the end of the day she needs to make the decision herself. You can be there to support her but it needs to be her choice - and no matter what happens it is not your fault.

I would definitely suggest to her finding a new doctor. Having a doctor who understands mental health issues and is willing to negotiate medications (and doses) is crucial.

I hope what I tell you will help. I am a mother and obviously also someone's child. As a mother, I don't want my child to throw his life away on me, no matter what, and I don't think you should sacrifice yours to your mother. Have your siblings really "given up on her" or have they done what I think is the right thing, and gone on to live their own lives? If your mother is the one who told you she was over-medicated, that is really between your mother and her doctor. My guess is she felt crummy when her body was trying to adjust to the medications and she quit before the doctor could even get a baseline of their effectiveness for her. Please try to see that your mother 'doesn't have a problem' because she has shoved all of the attending difficulties off onto you. If you really want to help your mother, try to get someone she respects (if possible) to help her find another doctor; then sit her down and tell her what you are willing to do to help her (I'd be willing to drive her to the doctor) and what you are not (pay her credit card bills when she goes on a spree, lie about the misery her behavior causes). You have my heart felt sympathy.

you feel guilty if you don't help her and ignore her (((hugs)))
i would tell her if you don't take your meds i will not be around you anymore. it's called tough love.
your a good daughter you went above and beyond taking care of her, now its your turn to take care of yourself. no more stress, no more drama, and like you said she's a living time bomb, you don't need that in your life.

It does help, any advice will. Thank you. Its nice to hear that from a mothers prospective. I completely understand what you mean! She really didn't even give the meds a chance. I never tried sitting her down with someone else she trusts. I'd like to do that. I'm sure I sound like a broken record to her lol. Maybe she needs to hear it from someone else that's important to her.

Thank you so much for the advice.