[afterrain]

I have this friend that I know for a very long time. I have wrote about him in the past. My friendship with this person is confusing sometimes. I don't know why we both go back and forth with are feeling for one another.

The other day, my friend send me text saying Hi and wanted to see how I was doing? I said back that I was doing well and ask how he was. He said that he was doing good. Then out of nowhere he text me that he "miss me". I did not know if he was play around or no, so I ask if he really did miss me. He said that he really does. I wrote back saying I miss him too.

Before this chat, the last time I talk to him was on the First of the year. When he ask if I can lend him some money. We did not talk that much that day.

When chatting with my friend, starts say things. I have no idea there coming from. He say that I was always nice and good to me. He is feeling down about himself and feel guilty. I ask why he feels guilty. He said I never did him wrong and make him feel good about himself. And the fact I gave him some money and we barely talk after that.

I told him that I will always be there for him and he knows that. How I see the world is: "you other when in need and when you need help, other will help you out. And it ok that we don't talk bc we are both have a lot of things going on.

He said that he knows and feel the same way too. It just that he miss and wants me. (This is not the first time he has said me that he wants to be with me.) I told him that all he had to do to be with me, is to ask me. I don't know why I said that to him. I know that he will never ask me to be his girlfriend any time soon.

He wrote back saying that he don't want anything official or labeled. He is not ready to be in a relationship. He want to have good time. He want to love, feel love, and make love.

I told him that I knew that he was not ready for something official. And I'm not the one saying that I something like that. (Be more than friends, but deep down inside I would like to see what could be.) I said that all I want right now is to be friends. Then he said that he is down for that and that he could use a friend too.

I'm happy that we are both friends and I know that he is too. But the thing that get to me is the fact that he say he wants one thing. Then turns around and say something different. I do like him and willing to wait. It just how long to wait? Will he ever want more? Or is it last hope for us? what to do?

[roads]

You describe yourself, afterrain, as scared to move on in your life, which suggests to me that you're feeling pretty vulnerable & insecure.

This friend borrows money from you (plans to return it?) & wants sex with you but no commitment. Generally speaking, it doesn't sound as if you are entering into anything like a stable relationship here, nothing in fact that someone scared to move on with her life would want to get involved with.

If you're lonely, this may sound better than nothing--but I can promise you that nothing is far superior to the wrong something.

Think seriously about borrowed money & sex with nothing beyond the act. Is that really appealing ... over a long time? really, maybe not even that long?

[Leed]

This guy sounds to me like he's USING you. He contacts you, says nice things to you, then asks you to borrow money, but says that he doesn't want a committed relationship, and then you don't hear from him for quite awhile. This smells funny.

I would NOT be lending him money, that's for sure. It just sounds to me like he's leading you on, but doesn't intend on having ANY kind of relationship with you at any time. It just seems like he's using you as a bank whenever he runs short of cash. I think I'd steer clear of this one. I know you care for him, but I think you could do better. You're a kind, caring person -- look for someone who cares EQUALLY for you.

God bless & please take care. Hugs, Lee

[sandworm]

Hi Afterrain, I sense that you should make all your decision after speaking with someone
so that you have clarity. You appear to be to have some cloudy thoughts from
depression. I know when I am depressed my decisions are....less than ideal.
try journalling things out, then reading what you wrote the next day and
see if makes as much sense the second time around as it made for you the first time
you wrote it.
Hugs to you.

'S'

[fastlane]

Its called friends with benefits, you are servicimg him...

[afterrain]

My friend is planing to pay me back when he gets so money. I know what it sound like. How do I move on with out losing him?