[Lil Ant Lady]

i have a new boyfriend... we got together on 1st Jan. i like him loads and we have spent 5 out of 7 days together in the last two or so weeks.

he tells me he loves me already - is this even possible?

i have feelings for him too - but they are still developing if that makes sense? i dont fall in love easily so to me this is a bit strange!!

[Helloanxiety]

I'm sure that's possible, but i'm a love-at-first-sight believer. Me and my boyfriend told each other we loved each other after a couple of days. I expect some people progress with their feelings quicker than others. Although don't feel pressured into saying it back if you don't feel ready yet. I'm sure the feelings will become mutual in time and hopefully your boyfriend realises this too. [=

[Lil Ant Lady]

thanks hun...
i am just a little bit freaked out cos hes saying about moving in together, having children, and getting married etc
bit too much for my head to handle
i wanna tell him but he sent me this really lovely message saying how hes never felt this way before and hes falling in love with me more and more every day. i should be touched but i just want to go slow and let things progress naturally - atm i feel im being backed into a corner xx

[Lil Ant Lady]

its like the opposite of separation anxiety... if that makes any sense at all?

[kindachaotic]

If you feel backed into a corner, then you need to tell him things need to slow down a bit.
If he loves you like he says he does, then he should be willing to be patient with you until you ready for all these commitments.
Go with your gut.

Best wishes on the future.

[TealOrca12]

I have read (and i don't have sources or references, so bear with me, lol) that men "fall in love" quicker than women- but it takes longer for the real bonding to take place. when people first meet, their passions are aroused and its really intense and can be overwhelming. it eventually cools down (and it has to- because our systems couldn't handle a long, extended period of that intensity!). so right now, it could be his passionate side talking- it takes longer for long-term love to really set in. i wish you good luck!!!

[Chontel]

Just be careful and follow your heart, Dont rush and just be yourself. Always get to know your boyfriend before you get too seroius. Spend some time apart and get to know his family and friends.

[Perna]

I was lucky because both my husband and I got scared with the intensity of our feelings and cooled everything down together by declaring we had fallen in "fond"

[LylaJean]

It sounds dumb but after two weeks of being together, I really knew that I would marry my husband. We resisted saying "I love you" for months, though, because we didn't want to take it lightly. What ended up happening was I was helping him clean his kitchen once and we passed each other in the hallway and he kissed my forehead and said "I love ya. Aww sh** I just said that!!" Haha. Nothing to be scared of. But if you're feeling rushed, tell him. It's nothing to be ashamed of. Everything needs to be comfortable for both of you.

[BlueInanna]

I think yes it's possible. I've fallen in love in one conversation or one kiss before.

Just be honest with him. If you're not ready that's ok! You don't have to say you love him if you're not sure or not ready. Make sure to take space for yourself if you need it too. Love shouldn't feel like being backed in a corner, if he does love you, he'll wait for you to be ready. Good luck

[JLarissaDragon]

I do not think there are any rules for when you can fall in love or how long it takes. For me it was easy to let infatuation and sexual attraction dominate my feelings and then I would be heartbroken when it didn't last. On the other hand my sister fell in love at sixteen, got married at 17 and is still happily married 19 years later. In the end true love will continue, infatuation seldom does. Nothing comes with a guarantee. We are all different and the attraction between people is different in every case. No one can set your agenda for the man you love. I wish you well. Time will tell. Follow your heart if it continues to feel right

[Ygrec23]

All the prior answers come from women like you. I'm a guy, and I'm definitely an "at first sight" believer. However, unlike the guy you're with, even though I knew within an hour (two times) this person was for me, I did not, either time, try to snow them or push them or go too fast. The first time I was 15, when you really can't get married. The second time I was 23, when you can get married, as we did and as we've stayed, for 42 years.

And I can easily believe that men go faster than women. It makes evolutionary sense. Women's investment in a relationship is a lot more important than men's. Of course, that had nothing to do with what I did or did not do. To be presented with someone you really, really love, all of a sudden, is kind of like seeing the Grand Canyon for the first time. Or skydiving for the first time. To me, at least, it made me hold my breath and not want to go all that fast. So though I progressed "with all deliberate speed," (as the Supreme Court has said), it was a gradual process, though I knew from Moment 1. I was really being tender about her feelings.

But if your guy is telling you that you are IT, it's entirely possible that he's telling you the truth. At the same time, you have every right in the world to tell him to slow down. If he really loves you he'll take your cue and only do what you're comfortable with. If he's pushing you beyond your limits then I would wonder about whether he really does love and care for you.

Take care!

[Lil Ant Lady]

thanks everyone... i really do like him loads but i have this ever present worry over my head. its like it with every relationship i get into. i have this fear built into me and i let it rule over me. i had this with my ex and thats the reason i left him. then i had another short relationship since then and the same feelings overcame me and i ended that too. i hate being single and i been seeking someone like this man for 2 years now. yet when he comes along i get all wound up. its really doing my head in
i just wish i could be worry free and let things unwind naturally but its like i have something in the back of my head telling me i cant do it. so this fear consumes me and i let it sabotage my chances of having a good relationship.

i dont know if this stems from my childhood and how I was raised.

i read up about the 4 different styles of attachment and i am classic example of anxious-avoidment.

how can I change this??