Verbal abuse

My boss abused me on Friday. She took me up one side and down the other because she objected to a phrase I used; but I never know what word or phrase or situation will set her off; she has such a skewed view of things and she is so angry all the time, it could be anything. She has gotten angry about foodstuffs, beverages, parking places, stuff from 35 years ago, reports that are not done but are not due yet, to name a few. When she is not angry at me she is angry at stuff from 35 years ago, her inlaws, her dentist from 20 years ago, the guy delivering stuff to the office, trees in her neighborhood, whether or not the taste of certain colas has changed, a man who died several years ago. She's careful not to curse me out (so there is no "damn you" or "you f***ng piece of ****") although she has randomly told me 'stories' where she will say "and then I told her "F*** YOU" and she looks right at me and repeats "F*** YOU" loudly several times, which in my mind is her way of basically saying it to me (either way, that isn't appropriate language for the workplace). She has abused my coworker on rare occasions, too, and in some ways what she says to her is even worse. While the boss was taking me to task she was telling me about her experience having been abused on the job when she worked in other areas of the company (the gist of it was she had to put up with it). There is no talking to her about this stuff when she is 'calmer' because almost everything is a trigger for her. In fact any protracted conversation with her that she does not initiate enrages her. There is not going to be any telling HR; she lied in the past about another coworker and I know she'll do it again. I've thought about saying very quietly "there is no need to be abusive."

WOW your boss is a BEEP!. . . I know this is easier said than done but you cant pay her no mind. She is not the person you have to go home too or trying to spend the rest of you life with. It comes to a point where everybody got something that just make work bad...but you just have to clock in and clock out and leave all that fuss and drama inside the building. I would file reports (without name) to your HR dept. Enough reports from you and your co workers should get somebody attention. Meanwhile you really gonna have to zone her out...I hope somebody come along with more advice..sorry I wasnt much help!

Your boss sounds incredibly bitter, which is a shame. Way too much good in life to be bitter all the time like that, if you ask me....

I think Billie had a good idea. If you can submit reports without a name attached, that's be a perfect way to let the issue be known but not have it traced to you. In the mean time, try to ignore her as best you can. People like that aren't worth your time. Their objective is to validate how they're feeling by dragging everyone down to their level, thus making their behavior seem "normal." Don't let her do that to you.

Take care, and good luck.