[cristin34]

So I've been having this specific concern for over 5 months or so I believe and it is until today the day I will talk about it. Me and my boyfriend are in a committed relationship. I am 20 years old and he is 25. I am studying for an engineering title while he neither works nor studies. My sex life when I met him was normal I had sexual desires, but suddenly the idea of having sex with him makes me nervous, and even sometimes I feel repulsed over thiniking about it. I know its not normal for someone my age to avoid having sex all the time, but I insist the problem is with him due to the fact that I find myself fantasizing about other guys

[Perna]

Your fantasizing about other guys is never about the other person; that's happening in you for your intents and purposes; no one else can "cause" that. I think you probably have trouble with his non-commitment, non-work/study and not knowing where that could put you and he in the future. I can't see being attracted to someone with no interest in anything, not working on their own life and problems? I think you need to confront the differences in your relationship (other than sex) and all the stuff you are trying to use sex and sexual feelings/lack of feelings to avoid discussing.

[Leed]

I agree 100% with Perna. Who would be attracted to a slug? You are obviously supporting him -- that certainly is NOT attractive. What does he do with himself all day - lay around and watch TV or spend it playing around with his buddies?

You need to confront him -- tell him that either he works or he goes. There's NO future for you two if he's not going to do something with his life. And you certainly do NOT want to spend YOUR life supporting this jerk. He hasn't grown up yet, and it's about time he did.

Tell him to get a job and keep it or get out. You aren't ready for children yet. And that's just what he is -- a child. If it were me, I wouldn't even give him the time to get a job -- I'd just kick him out.

God bless and take care. Hugs, Lee

[IceCreamKid]

Originally Posted by cristin34

So I've been having this specific concern for over 5 months or so I believe and it is until today the day I will talk about it. Me and my boyfriend are in a committed relationship. I am 20 years old and he is 25. I am studying for an engineering title while he neither works nor studies. My sex life when I met him was normal I had sexual desires, but suddenly the idea of having sex with him makes me nervous, and even sometimes I feel repulsed over thiniking about it. I know its not normal for someone my age to avoid having sex all the time, but I insist the problem is with him due to the fact that I find myself fantasizing about other guys

Where in the world did you get the idea that "I know its not normal for someone my age to avoid having sex all the time"? Unless you are studying for a domestic engineer title, you should have a lot of studying to do, which would give you little time for constant sex with a layabout who is too old for you. While it may not be fashionable today, I'm going to encourage you to put your sexual activities on hold until you are mature. Now is the time for you to concentrate on your education and emotional maturation; when you are finished with your education and able to support yourself is plenty of time to find a man who is close to your age, also educated and supporting himself and capable of, and wanting to support a wife and family.