[lenjan]

So, I have this friend. She lives in San Francisco, which is notorious for its extremely high cost of living. She has an amazingly well-paid job, no kids, and no mortgage. And ever since I met her, she's been extraordinarily generous with her money.

The first time was when I had just gotten my hours cut in preparation of being laid off entirely. I had a job at the time where Tshirts and jeans were perfectly fine as workwear, because the company did all its business via Internet and phone, and we never saw customers. So I didn't have any "dressy" interview-type clothes that fit.

Terri emailed me and said she would be happy to send me some money. We talked about it, agreed on a figure, and she sent the check, and there we were.

Over the years, though, I'm afraid she might have come to the conclusion that she has to bail me out every time I complain about money. We've almost never discussed it since that first time -- I'll just randomly get a check in the mail one day.

I'm out of work due to illness and disability and unemployment haven't kicked in yet. My family is sick of putting money into a black hole, but my friends have been helping out as well. Today I got a check from Terri for $1,000....completely unsolicited.

I work in a fun but not-so-well-paying field, and I will never see a spare $1,000 as long as I live. I would guess over the years she's probably lent me $5-6,000. I have no way ever of paying her back. I mentioned that to her once, and she said she just figured I was a better investment than the stock market. She doesn't seem to mind, but I'm feeling really guilty. I feel like I should be able to repay her somehow, but I don't know how. Anybody got any ideas?

Candy

[pegasus]

candybear,

Well, your friend has obviously recognised what a good person you are and trully appreciates your friendship.

Perhaps you could just send her a card with a letter saying how much of a friend she is to you.

Maybe you could arrange to meet up and spend some time together.


Hugs.

[kimmydawn]

((((((((((((((((candy)))))))))))))))))))

what a beautiful friend to care and demand nothing in return. to me it sounds like she appreciates what she has and you and WANTS to share that. what a blessing...for both of you!!!

you are wonderfully creative. i just know that you'll figure out a way to make a creative thank you...maybe even write a short book just for her and what she's meant to you and why?

i'm so happy for you.

kd

[SeptemberMorn]

Call her your Guardian Angel and thank her profusely. Someday your chance will come to repay her and probably not with money.

I have a friend like that. She gave me $1000 a couple of times but other than that she'd take me grocery shopping and such when I needed it. There's no way I can pay her back monitarily, but there have been occasions when I've given her something out of my house or when I fixed a meal for her when she broke her ankle.

Just accept the fact that she loves you and let her show you. You didn't ask for the money so why feel guilty?

Remember what Sky says "Friends are God's apology for our family."

[wisewoman]

Candy, I am with the rest. A note along the lines of thanks for always being there for me and I want to pass your kindness foreward by whatever kindness I can offer others in the world. She is a good friend.

[Sabrina]

Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay awhile and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same. Sounds like your friend is one of these people.

[(JD)]

Candy, if you would but thank her from time to time, that would be "grand." If you can manage a card of thinking of her when you do, that would also be terrific. I know it seems a small gesture, but not doing so hurts more than most ppl realize. If you find a card or quote or something, even a joke, that she can connect with (due to her avocations?) that would make it more special.

Since you are obviously appreciative, I think anything you do will be fine.

[desirae]

She sounds like a great friend. An angel like mentioned before, she must really care for you, and she probably understands the situation you are in right now.

I would just tell her that she is very appreciayed, then one day when you find the job you want and you get on your feet start sending little payments back.

She sounds like an awesome person you two should make a visit.

[lenjan]

We are going to try to get together this summer, but it depends on the state of my health at the time. We have a mutual friend who lives in Minneapolis and are trying to plan a weekend at a hotel near the Mall of America. I hope it happens!