[juicyplum]

My husband and I have been married 13 years. I spent 15 days in the psych ward of the hospital 3 weeks ago because I wanted to commit suicide. I am doing better now but don't know how long that is going to last. My husband gets drunk every 3 or 4 days and he has a temper and I am not doing well at handling the stress. Everyone tells me to leave but it's not that easy. I need to do a lot of praying and thinking.

[LightningMan]

Originally Posted by juicyplum

My husband and I have been married 13 years. I spent 15 days in the psych ward of the hospital 3 weeks ago because I wanted to commit suicide. I am doing better now but don't know how long that is going to last. My husband gets drunk every 3 or 4 days and he has a temper and I am not doing well at handling the stress. Everyone tells me to leave but it's not that easy. I need to do a lot of praying and thinking.

You did not ask for advice, so I won't give you any, but I will say this: when I was in a similar place, I went to a twelve step group for my problem and that was the beginning of things being different and getting better. You may want to consider that.

[Leed]

I'm sorry you're going thru that. It's awful living in that kind of environment.

I agree with Lightningman ~ Why not go to AlAnon and see what they have to say. That is a group for people who have family/friends who are alcoholics. They teach you how to cope with the drinker. They teach you how to have a life without losing it to the drinker. They teach you how NOT to enable the drinker! That's the most important. Without knowing it, we enable them and it makes things worse. I've gone to many meetings and it was VERY helpful to me. it made a huge difference.

Give it a try and see what you think. It will probably take several meetings before you can make up your mind, but please try it. I wish you the very best. One thing I do want to mention tho is if his temper is such that you are in DANGER, don't stay!! Get out and go somewhere safe! Your safety is the number one priority! God bless and take care. Hugs, Lee

[juicyplum]

Thanks for the comments. I really wanted some feedback. I went to one meeting a week ago and I am going to another Thursday. I guess I am an enabler since I am the only one that works and he has control of the money so he buys beer when he wants it. I decided today to leave but have to get some things in order first, then I started feeling guilty because he won't have a job or income. I can't win for losing!

[LookingforCalm]

You have NOTHING to feel guilty about. He's using you and your money, and is disrespecting you at that. You're at your wits end, and he's so wrapped up in getting drunk that I'm sure you feel he doesn't care about you.

As a former drug-addict, I can understand what is going on with him. Something is wrong, and he's numbing himself. Or trying to. That does NOT excuse how he treats you. You matter, and it looks like you might need to go to a few more meetings before making such a huge decision.

But please remember - it's not your fault! You didn't make him this way. You have NOTHING to feel guilty about. And don't let him take his anger out on you. If you're afraid - even for a moment - then get away!