[doggiedo]

Background Story: I broke up with my boyfriend twice before (just b/c I needed my space, etc.) I was figuring things out, finding out what I wanted in life, moving to a new apartment, etc. He was all ready to move in with me, and profess his love. I just needed things to slow down a bit.

I made every attempt to be honest with him and talked with him about my feelings, etc. He had every right to tell me if things weren't working for him, if he wanted out, etc. He wanted me, and that's what he said.

Well, I figured out I want him and we have been togehter for 9 or so months and from what i thought, we were happy.

Current Issues: Yesterday, I had a new boss start work, which was kinda cool. I also had someone new start working for me, which is the first time I get to supervise anyone. Needless to say it was a busy day, but it was great. I was able to explain how things work at the school and also get a good idea of their areas of expertise, etc. It was a really fun, motivational type of day. All I wanted to do was share the good vibes with my b/f when I talked with him on the phone last night. But....

Then, I was supposed to pick up my motorcycle from storage at an old friend's house (who I'm not even that close with) and I don't have anyone to give me a ride there so I can pick it up. My friend who is storing the bike says I need to have someone come and pick it up with me, he won't drive over and help me - what a good friend he is. So here I am feeling like a stinking loser b/c I have no friends or family in the area to help.

So he texted me early in the evening saying he was going to sleep. Iwas on the phone with a girlfriend that I lost touch with in college (trying to reconnect and MAKE FRIENDS!) and so I said okay, goodnight. I was busy and he wanted to sleep. Today I mentioned that i was a little dissapointed I didn't get a chance to talk to him last night. I was a little lonely from the friends/bike incident and I also wanted to share with him my good day.

He took it personally. He feels like I was accusing him for not being there for me las tnight. That's not what I meant at all! I just wnated him to know how much I appreciated and looked forward to our nightly chats. THat's all!

Now he's bringing up all the times where I said I wasn't sure about our relationship and how I'm mkaing him feel bad for not beign there for me. I feel like he's making me out to be this controling woman, and I'm not! We're both in our 30s! Too old for this drama!

Now he's all like, I want time to figure out what I want. Where did this come from? What the hell did I do wrong? I'm just trying to be honest and stuff. I just want to give up and say, "well, you want space - you got it"

I don't even know what to do or what to think.
On top of that, my depression is really bad. I've been isolating a lot lately. Crying. Went to the pdoc on Mon and called the cousnelor today. it's just not good. So, this on top of everything else. I just don't know how to handle it. Nor do I have anyone to talk to to try and help me through this.

[LightningMan]

Well, you can talk here. I have found drama to be bad for me and so I have tried to eliminate it from my life. I have also found that people who are hurt (as he was) try to hurt back the person that hurt them. That's what I think his response is coming from. I think it might be helpful to just put your relationship completely aside for a moment and focus on something else in your life. I say that because otherwise you're playing some sort of emotional game with him. And if he cannot get past his resentments, then you have choices you can make.

[doggiedo]

Thanks. It's okay. I think we broke up anyway...so I guess it's a moot point.

[LookingforCalm]

Hey there. I'm so sorry for what's going on with you and your man.

Since you are having such a bad depression, I strongly suggest that you put off making ANY big decisions right now. Don't explain anything else to him, and for now just let this go. I hope you get the help you need!

As for being in your 30's - remember that age has NOTHING to do with wisdom. I have SO learned this the hard way. I dated a 47 year-old man that lived with his parents!