[EDGE]

I've met this really nice girl and i've been seeing her for about 3 months now.The problem is i'm not really sure about the way i feel about her.I really like her and enjoy her company,but don't seem to want to have sex with her all the time.She's good looking enough,not over weight but slightly pudgie at the littliest.She's one of the nicest girls i've ever met and she treats me brilliant,but some how i don't seem to desire her.My last girlfriend i was seeing was better looking but she knew it and two timed me but i wanted her more at the time,she was also a bit younger, but i felt so paronoid and obssesive around her.But with this girl i don't feel that way much but i want to fancy her and i want to have a future with her.Am i using her in a way for security.I'd like her as a future partner as she has all the qualities for a wonderful wife.Maybe i don't love myself enough to love her.I want to keep seeing her.Is there any advice out there someone might have in desiring a partner sexually & emotionally.Is there any medicine or perscriptions out there on sex drive/desire.Please help.

[snoopyexpress]

Are you depressed? Depression oftentimes effects your desire. Being on any medications or using any drugs can also cause lower sex drive. If you feel that you are not depressed, then you need to evaluate how into this girl you are. She sounds wonderful; I envy you for having someone so wonderful. But if she's not right for you, then for her sake you need to let her go.

You saying "i don't love myself" sounds familiar to me. I have also felt tat way and it's a classic sign of depression. I ended up on Wellbutrin, which isn't suppose to affect you sex drive. You need to take care of yourself.

You said you were two-timed so you miust find it hard to trust. I can also relate. Take care of yourself and you will find it easier to deal with a relationship. Depression can eat away at you and it is hard on a relationship. I'm not saying you're depressed, just that it may be a possability. Good luck and I hope you make the right choice.

[EDGE]

Thanks snoopyexp.Sometimes i get a little depressed,but lately since i've been seeing this girl i've been feeling fine most of the time.I'm not on any medication and never was.I had a tough up bringing maybe reulting in these depressing moods.On the sex issue,my sex drive over all has declined for some reason,it's not just her,some other girls i don't even bother noticing much, as before i was like a dog in heatYou were right about trust,it is a big issue in my relationship but i trust her alot more than the last girlfriend.No matter how things go,i still want and she feels the same,that we still see each other if things don't work out.Is this a good idea?

[snoopyexpress]

Do you feel this relationship has run it's course? That's kinda how it sounds. Don't force anything that isn't going to work; I know that from experience. Should you still see her if you do break up? Probably not. Once after a break-up, I still had contact with this girl. We were part of the same cirlce of friends. Unfortunately, after a short time I came to realize that they were not my circle of friends but her circle of friends. Very depressing. That probably has nothing to do with your problems, but I needed to say it.

As far as sex drive, that could be reduced just because your getting older. That's the bad news. The good news is that you can survive. The world's at you doorstep. Now I'm getting all mushy. As much as I want to tell you to hold on to this "wonderful" girl, that might not be right for you. Also, I don't know how she feels about you. It may be time for you to have a serious talk with her. I do know one thing: couple who are going somewhere do not talk about breaking up.

Time is the only thing I know that can inprove trust. I'm still working on that one for myself. I hope I can find someone who I can trust. Good luck again.

[EDGE]

I'm gona give this one a go,she's worth it i think.I hope in time it's only just fog blocking my view .Maybe things will get clearer in time.Maybe it's just a depressing time like you say,as when i'm happy it's all rosie in the garden.Thanks for the advice snoop ! Talk Again >>

[snoopyexpress]

Time is a wonderful thing to be used with good thought. Time is what is sounds like you have. Sometimes it finding the balance between not rushing in and not dragging your butt. But that's what all life is about: finding a balance. I've been feeling down the past few days. Tonight I went to a hockey game. I went by myself but I was sick of doing nothing. And my hometown team totally iced their opponent. Keep going forward and don't doubt youself. Time will take care of everything.

[wondering]

Maybe this is one of those wonderful relationships that if they are not pushed can go from a beautiful friendship to two people growing old in eachothers loving arms. Take your time and see what happens. try not rushing into sex or over analizing your lack of desire. Maybe this is the one true relationship that blossoms slowly.

[Nellgwynn]

If this is your first relationship since splitting up with the lady who cheated on you, then is possible that this new relationship is a rebound affair?...something you have gone into because on some level you know there is no real risk that you will fall for her and be hurt all over again?
I read somewhere that some people need to have a purely sexual relationship in order to heal their broken hearts and be ready to love again...others need to love another person but not have sex with them in order to heal and know they are ready for the same. It may seem like an odd concept, but it seems to me that most people I know do one or the other for a time after they split up with someone who was important to them.
If neither of these scenarios fit what you know about yourself, then maybe your libido is affected because you are still grieving over your last relationship and simply haven't got enough energy to be intimate on a physical level with anyone yet....perhaps your body is sending you a message - "it's a little too close, a little too soon - I'm still feeling fragile and vulnerable emotionally to share my heart".
Just a thought, Sue. P.

[EDGE]

Thanks everyone,,things are going smoothly.