Any advice on tricky relationship?

To cut a long story short, I'm in a long distance relationship, both boyfriend and I have health problems and have visited eachother twice in 8 months. We skype everyday but over time I've felt we don't have as much in common as I'd have liked and to be honest I need more than occasional visits. I crave companionship and fear I will still be waiting around for this guy in several years without really getting much from the relationship. I like him but I don't feel there's enough to warrent keeping this going. I want to put my doubts across to him and suggest we just leave this open for now as there are too many difficulties to make it work. Perhaps if we were seeing eachother more often we could build a foundation but that doesn't seem possible.

My problem is how and when to tell him. People around me have suggested telling him in person when he next visits. I have to admit I'd feel more respectful telling him in person. But the problem is I don't know when he'll next be able to visit although he hopes it will be this month. This option will mean carrying on as things are with our chats and not mentioning it. Otherwise I could tell him via skype, on the phone or write him a letter or email. I'm not sure about the last option. I'm naturally unconfident and fear I won't be able to get myself across properly.

I suppose I'm also concerned that I'm rushing into ending this when we've seen each other so rarely. I stayed for three days in January and it was nice to be with him although just being away from my home and responsibilites might've contribted to the good feeling.

I have health limitations and so does he, so it won't be easy for me to find a boyfriend, although I obviously don't want to use that escuse to stay with him.

I have a child and house where I live whereas he lives with his mother and has family nearby. Due to health and other factors it's simply not possible to spend long periods of time together at the moment.

I know it can only be my decision but I really don't know whether to stay with him, give it longer, or tell him my doubts and end it. I don't want to throw away something potentially good but at the same time I don't want to be waiting for a long time for something that won't work.

Any thoughts?

Well i think that it would be best to try and arrange to see a visit to him in person as it would be good to see him face-to-face as sending a letter or talking on the phone does not allow you to clearly express your emotions or show how you feel.

All the best to you.

. xxx

Long distance relationships are hard. I think you should wait, evaluate the situation and the next time you see him talk about how you feel in person.

I think it's best to be honest as soon as you are fairly sure of your feelings. Under normal circumstances, yes you would break up in person, but the r/s isn't happening "in person". So I think whatever the "usual circumstances" for your usual interactions would be the proper time. Either one of you could meet someone else tomorrow or next week - why wait maybe months and lose that opportunity? If you two were meant to be together, it will happen.

Thanks for the replies. It has always been my stance that if it's meant to work out it will - but it seems there have been non stop obstacles in trying to meet up (genuine ones, but a nuisance nonetheless) and I'm losing heart. He's hoping to make it here this month so maybe I'll see how I feel then and if necessary talk to him about the situation. If he doesn't make it down I might have to just tell him over the phone.

Hello Dreamy yeah definitely talk to him face-to-face as
this is the best way to express your feelings clearly as you
will have better dialect that way compared to if your over the
phone or by e-mail.

All the best. . xxx

Well I couldn't bear it eating away at me so I spoke to my bf via skype about our relationship. I said I wasn't sure whether he would work long term, that I was struggling with how things are and that while I like him I don't know if this is enough for me right now. It was very awkward and difficult but these feelings have eaten away at me and needed to be said.

He asked if I was breaking up with him...I said no...but said I can't be sure re the future and I felt I needed to see him more. He said I needed to do what's right and not to worry about him but it was clear it was very hard for him. I said I couldn't be certain about our future but suggested I go and stay with him for a week or so and see how things go.

So lots of uncertainty but I was honest. I do feel I've left him in a state of limbo though.

That was good you were honest. Well done!!!

Yeah i think that was a good idea about staying for a week
and seeing how you guys get on.

Good on you. xxx